All Comments on 'Pleasing a girl, told by a girl.'

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Lets see what you can do beyond the rhyme. or maybe take it to where the words have a similar sound but don't directly rhyme.

A dark steel lily

in the lost twilight,

a silver orchid

in dawns gentle light

a midnight tullep

and a snow white rose.

At days dying daze.

The flower of the hour,

lost to time's withered

gaze.

And also don't take my advice with out a grain of salt. I'm not a true poet..more of a storyteller than even a writer..

M.S.Tarot