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love to see Mary getting more and more stuffed
if you still want me to proof the next chapter, don't hesitate to send them for beta reading ;)
Seriously?
How can this submission possibly be rated so high? It is atrocious (see thesaurus); floating in and out of tenses, inchoerent thoughts and no grammer at all. Conversations between people should be in quotation marks. Not to mention it wouldn't have hurt to have cracked open a thesaurus. Do us all a favor and take your friend up on his offer to edit. Please!
Grammer
If the grammer detracts from the story then it does need sorting.
To defend myself it's a balance of getting the story out there or delaying the release
Let's see if I can find that balance
Happy reading
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