Sperminate

your use of the english language could use some work. 'demised into the state of death' could really use some work

Good title but . . .

the story was disappointing. You need to think of a better premise than the main character tripping up. Description was poor and the sex scene over before it began. On this site a story can not afford to be unerotic. Read more erotica before writing another story.

Your words.

You are using quite a few words in ways that do not make sense. Use an editor.

Critical Analysis

This story is ultimately depressing. You give us a downtrodden and sexually frustrated social outcast on the verge of suicide, then you give him a source of happiness and fulfillment, then you kill her off at the last minute. Not to mention the small spelling issues. I don't see the point in stories like this one.