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Rutherford Consulting Ch. 01

bypositivecontrol©
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by Anonymous

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by Anonymous12/12/12

Good Start

I assume there will be more chapters to the good start here.

Your writing is a little awkward. I checked your biography and found you are in Germany. Though your English is good, it is not up to native speaker standards. I suggest you find a native speaker of English to edit your writing before posting. That will make a big difference and may help you improve your English.

Thanks for the story.

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by Anonymous12/16/12

needs work

Interesting story and I can see what you're trying to do... but the writing style is awkward, changing tenses in mid-paragraph often, and some phrasing is just too awkward to be feasible. For instance, it completely ruined the mood for me when I read: "She pulled out her tongue and began..." Really? She grabbed her tongue with her fingers and pulled it out? You really need an editor before you post.

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