FOR YOUR FIRST IT WAS OK , GIVE MORE DETAILS . I HAVE TYPE 2 DIABETES AND FUCKING IS A THING OF THE PAST FOR ME , SO GET IT AS MUCH AS YOU CAN. LET ME TELL YOU YOUR FEET WILL GET NUMB, THEN YOUR FINGERS, THEN YOUR COCK WILL GO LIMP. SO GET YOUR SISTER TO KISS IT GOODBYE. ALSO DON'T FORGET YOUR SHOTS. AND IF YOU HAVE ANY HEART PROBLEMS VIAGARA WON'T HELP. . ................. .................GOOD LUCK.....................LAROC OF AGES
by
Anonymous12/14/12
Loved it
Good story, which gave me a hard on, so thanks for that.
Nice story and you told it well--been there myself---it's good isn't it?
by
Anonymous12/14/12
not good
no real background to tell what their relationship was like before this. the story was way to rushed and has a piss poor end. this needs a major rewrite using a good editor to fix all the stupid screwups that should have been caught in proofreading and would have been caught by a good editor.
But the story needs a lot of editing and proof reading. Too many mistakes disrupted the flow of the story.
A little proof reading would have made this an excellent post.
As far as the storyline, it can be a very erotic coupling between the brother and sister which I'd like to read more of. How their relationship continued to grow and how their sex tryst became very loving and erotic.
English
hahahaha
You dirty ol' bastards! Some spelling errors but it didn't get in the way of a good laugh.
NOT BAD !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
FOR YOUR FIRST IT WAS OK , GIVE MORE DETAILS . I HAVE TYPE 2 DIABETES AND FUCKING IS A THING OF THE PAST FOR ME , SO GET IT AS MUCH AS YOU CAN. LET ME TELL YOU YOUR FEET WILL GET NUMB, THEN YOUR FINGERS, THEN YOUR COCK WILL GO LIMP. SO GET YOUR SISTER TO KISS IT GOODBYE. ALSO DON'T FORGET YOUR SHOTS. AND IF YOU HAVE ANY HEART PROBLEMS VIAGARA WON'T HELP. . ................. .................GOOD LUCK.....................LAROC OF AGES
Loved it
Good story, which gave me a hard on, so thanks for that.
Nice start
Good story and nice start for you.Keep writing.
Nice story
Nice story and you told it well--been there myself---it's good isn't it?
not good
no real background to tell what their relationship was like before this. the story was way to rushed and has a piss poor end. this needs a major rewrite using a good editor to fix all the stupid screwups that should have been caught in proofreading and would have been caught by a good editor.
A good start and a very erotic storyline
But the story needs a lot of editing and proof reading. Too many mistakes disrupted the flow of the story.
A little proof reading would have made this an excellent post.
As far as the storyline, it can be a very erotic coupling between the brother and sister which I'd like to read more of. How their relationship continued to grow and how their sex tryst became very loving and erotic.
Thanks for the read...
GOOD
BUT WAY WAY TO SHORT
Hot
keep it going we need more
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