All Comments on 'My Mother's Boyfriend'

by starsinger

Sort by:
  • 1 Comment
AnonymousAnonymousabout 9 years ago
The bevinning was very erotic u til Steve fucked her au naturel but then you rushed it too fast

You evedently know how to depict sexual acts so use your skills. As simple as that.

If i were you i'd split this story in two. Mom's ban on use of a/c in Oct was hillarious. How the narrator got major hots for Steve was good. "Your nipples are hard" - a brilliant short sentence that can say as much as a paragraph. After Steve has fucked her was the logical end to Ch. 1.

No offence meant.

* * *

On a less serious note, if i used the story for jack-off purposes, i would not be able to read about that Eli character because i'd be holding a paper towel in my hand. OK?

Anonymous
Our Comments Policy is available in the Lit FAQ
Post as:
Anonymous