I certainly hope not - but you really should pay a little more attention to presenting your work; this 'block of text' look is off-putting, to say the least. You have used paragraphs and speech tags well before, so why stop using them now?
A very good story, well worth continuing, but one that would be better still with a little care.
Thank you - four stars.
by
Anonymous12/23/12
I think he is so lucky to have found this old friend. I can think of more than a few old friends I would like to be pets of.
by
Anonymous01/03/13
thats it?
no conclusion nothing? he doesnt know who she is and thats all?
bad ending
English
Well
This one's better again, but he's still not knowing who his Mistress is.
To be honest its a really dangerous game he's playing there.
Your closing words wer 'The end?.
I certainly hope not - but you really should pay a little more attention to presenting your work; this 'block of text' look is off-putting, to say the least. You have used paragraphs and speech tags well before, so why stop using them now?
A very good story, well worth continuing, but one that would be better still with a little care.
Thank you - four stars.
I think he is so lucky to have found this old friend. I can think of more than a few old friends I would like to be pets of.
thats it?
no conclusion nothing? he doesnt know who she is and thats all?
bad ending
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