A Gift From His Father Ch. 09

Final?

You have many areas to explore and loose ends to close, so I hope you branch off with a Part deux. A gift to his Son Ch.___ maybe? That may be too far in the future but great characters can go anywhere. Thanks.

Disgusting.

3 pages after a huge delay. Waste of time. I wont give your stories another second of my time. I hope you know that people do get connected to stories and when you take a break they expect at least a reason on why the next chapter is trash.

I enjoyed the chapter

A little long in between but well worth the wait. Takes a big set of ball to make a comment and not put your name to it. keep up the good work and don't let those jerks get to you.

I am glad you returned and plan on giving the story an ending, thanks.

Nice work!

I like your story a lot. Although it took you a long time for this part to appear and it is very short you have me waiting for the next and final (why???) part.
I would love to read a nice final or more sequels(!).
Thanks!

As usual, your story has potential

It just such a shame you aren't using the editing service here on literotica.

As the story is right now, it reads like a draft, not a final submission.

With that said, the story does have potential.

And just like earlier, ill again offer editing help.

loved it

i love these types of stories. i do hope the last chapter is not the end of the story though,maybe do another set sorta like a series?

Enjoying your story---

I have read all 9 parts and am looking forward to more. Marking your author page in my "check back" book marks. Please continue the story, there are so many possibilities. Please do not go the gay route in it.

professional

I like your style, please continue and think about being a professinal writer of erotic stories.

Intriguing

I love stories like these and there are a few other good ones on this site - but - I got a headache correcting your grammar, tenses and spelling as I read. Spell Check. Also, when a writer creates a great story as you did - it is necessary to either continue or finish the story for the reader's sake. You are due.

Great but could you some editing

Sorry this took so long, I had meant to comment when I read this at release and seem to have forgotten.

I love the story and the writing. Characters are fun and not flat. Some could use more filling out but are definitely interesting.

I do agree with the other poster that there are some painful errors that editing would clean up. But that has not stopped me from enjoying this and checking back frequently for that final chapter we were PROMISED.

keep it coming

i just read your series for the 3rd time. i am looking forward to reading your final chapter as you put it. i hope to see it soon. great job so far kudos to you.

Where's Ch 10

Fantastic story, so interesting. So Where's Ch 10?

Where is the next chapter???

This whole story is fantastic!!! You have got to continue. The character development has been very good and the way John has learned to control his world makes me wish I was in his shoes. You could really keep writing past chapter 10. Keep up the GREAT work!!!

What happened to the ending?

You just left us hanging with a promise of more to come and a bit of closure. What happened I would love to hear more. This is one of my favorites

Spelling and Grammar PLEASE!

PLEASE check your spelling and grammar. It ruins what would otherwise be a good story. Quote from the text on PAge 3 Chapter 9 - " he's return around closing time."
What? He's return?

Final Chapter

If you would, please post the final chapter. It's been a very pleasant journey so far.

I have to agree with some of the others...

You desperately need an editor. No offense, but the only other times I've seen grammatical and spelling errors this bad has been some of the foreign online scammers who haunt some social networking sites., It's a good storyline, with well thought out characters and good development; but your grammar and spelling tend to detract from this. I hope to see the next chaper(s) soon, but please, please, please, find a good editor to proofread it and fix the mistakes.

Consistent

Some would say consistency, especially in a series, is a good thing... But not when it is consistently bad! Please contact me (this is not my name on the Forums) if you want an editor in the future, as I would be happy to help.

it takes more than spell-checker

There are indeed so many typos that do distract from the story-line. Not only the THERE, THEIR, THEY'RE and YOUR/YOU'RE, but he/herhere, and other silly spelling errors...but also incorrect use of IDIOMS. Sorry for no examples on the idioms, but in tact is ONE WORD, but slips through spell checker easily.

It isn't usually a bother, because so many of the stories are so weak, but yours is politically interesting.

Needs editing

Great story. Need to check for grammar and verb tense.

Your spelling and grammar is attrocious

Didn't you ever hear of a spelling checker? Even more you should ask some to edit your stories. Your imagination and pots are interesting but spoiled by the misuse of words, bad spelling and grammar. What was the last grade you attended in school and passed? Perhaps grade 3 or 4.
I can't stand reading your stories any more.
Go back to school.