All Comments on 'A Christmas Gift'

Has a nice feeling of "could be real". Now, how about the new year?

It was a nice short story but still enjoyable to read. Hopefully you make a "New Years " story aswell.....:D

no mention of spouses or dates so i say give em a kid

never read such rubbish

Excuse me - but I didnt feel nor see the quality in this story. I'm sure you could make a better story if you spent abit longer on writing it - maybe reading it a couple of times to see what you could do better. And ask someone who's written one for some advice before you post it. No hard feelings, but this was bituva disappointment.

There is a story thats got the same story line as yours.wat i question is did you copy or is it just you cant develope a good story??

I've been away for a while and I was really missing the instant feedback. Every one of you helps to push me to be a better writer.

The end of the year is always a very busy time for me, and this has been an exceptionally busy year. I wanted very much to get back here with something in time for Christmas. This was, admittedly, a quick one, but I do intend to develop it further.

And no, I don't steal the work of others. Although it might help if I did. Not that I would ever be a Beethoven or a Shakespeare. But they did.

Happy Holidays, all, and my very best wishes for an even better New Year!

B

For a quick one pager, I thought you did a very good job of presenting two real people in a real situation. The story does seem to be larger than this one pager though. I would like to know more about these people, so you did a nice job with the limited space and hope you develop things further. Well done....

Some harsh criticism here for such a lovely piece of prose. Perhaps it's not sexually graphic enough to please some readers. For me, however, it packs an emotional punch with just enough sexual tension and sexual delivery to arouse those senses. Perfectly fine short story that allows me to fill in some of the blanks on my own. Not everything needs to be so lengthy as to allow for complete character development. In my view, this could stand alone as a short story or be developed through additional chapters. I know how much time the creative process takes, so I seldom if ever complain about story length here. Sloppiness in execution bothers me much more, and we don't see that with Brandi's work. I've said this about her writing before, but I'll say it again: Her writing has the effect of filling my heart and sending blood racing to my penis all at once.

I knew that many readers would find that this little piece was too short, but with the time constraints I had, it barely got published in time as it is.

It accomplished what I set out to do, which was to get a brother and sister to the point of intimacy in a way that didn't require expelling all disbelief. I think so, anyway, and I've had some readers comment privately who agree.

I should mention, if I haven't already, that as someone who writes for a living (although in a vastly different place) I have a very thick skin when it comes to critiques of my work. I want my pieces to be just right, and I want tomorrow's to be better than yesterday's.

I am going to write at least one more chapter of this little thing, so stay tuned for that. And I'm working on two other stories that will be longer and much longer, respectively, than any erotica I've written thus far. But with the other demands on my time, there's just no way of telling when either one will be done.

Significantly before Hell freezes over -- I hope :)

B

So juicy. Thanks for making a quick one. I do like your longer stories too. Hope to see more of both!!

that was lovely

sort of boring and no background or anything to keep the readers interested.

The best of love stories, even for longing brothers and sisters, are best when snowed in together for a week or two; and idle time is best spent in doing the natural body harmony that a male and female do best. When the participants are blood-related siblings, carnal incestual, loving sexual occurrences happen!!

This is a great story, written very well. The characters know their roles and they play them well.

I loved this story the first time (first comment) but there were a couple of niggles. They found some old popcorn. Could have commented how a lot of kernels didn't pop or only partly, and it tasted a bit stale. Then Jennifer woke up and noticed that Frank had stripped to T-shirt and boxers. Wouldn't he have been under the covers? How did she notice? Then she unplugged the Christmas tree, but decided she preferred staying in the room with the lights of the tree and the TV. Not biggies, Brandie69, but if you ever get the chance, you might want to fix those. These two were lucky all that snow didn't knock out their power. Still 5*

I think that gave me a boner !

The sex was too boring. No foreplay, no kissing, still had their shirts on, and finally cumming on her belly. Wham, bam, thank you sis. The message is clear. I won't be reading on.