Good story line but too many participants in such a short story. It detracts from the readers ability focus on the story while keeping the participants straight. It also detracts from your ability to detail the story line as much as it deserves. Certainly just my opinion, but I think if you slow down and develop it better it will have more appeal then bring in the rest of the participants one by one.
by
Anonymous12/25/12
re: Too Much
You are one of those A-holes who exists
ONLY to tear down others, aren't you?!
This story is HOT as FIRE; YOU are the
ONLY ONE (so far) who finds fault with it!
by
Anonymous04/06/13
Excellent start!
Please continue. I would like to see voluptuous Luci bedding a petite nubile young female who needs some "motherly love" and a big ass to lick!
by
Anonymous12/16/14
The story lacks any ide tity with its title. Unfortunately, the author has become fixated on anal sex to much and that diminished the overall value of the story. This string has potential but please focus more on the reality aspect more.
English
This is one of your hottest stories!
Love this story. Please continue with the raunchiness. I bet "Take your daughters to work day" is super steamy at this office!
TOO MUCH
Good story line but too many participants in such a short story. It detracts from the readers ability focus on the story while keeping the participants straight. It also detracts from your ability to detail the story line as much as it deserves. Certainly just my opinion, but I think if you slow down and develop it better it will have more appeal then bring in the rest of the participants one by one.
re: Too Much
You are one of those A-holes who exists
ONLY to tear down others, aren't you?!
This story is HOT as FIRE; YOU are the
ONLY ONE (so far) who finds fault with it!
Excellent start!
Please continue. I would like to see voluptuous Luci bedding a petite nubile young female who needs some "motherly love" and a big ass to lick!
The story lacks any ide tity with its title. Unfortunately, the author has become fixated on anal sex to much and that diminished the overall value of the story. This string has potential but please focus more on the reality aspect more.
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