by SspeakEeasy
I love where this story is headed but it becomes hard to read when there are so many tiny errors. Try to proof your work thoroughly before submitting. Otherwise I love it
I love your story it just needs to be a little longer. Keep writing!
Like the story, but it's too short. You would be able to tell a better story with more details if it were longer. Details make the story. In that dream segment, where about to get it on or was he dreaming that they were about to get it on. Why is Jackie jealous? The man won't know that he has your heart if you don't tell him. Jackie it's time to piss or get off the pot, this wedding is the perfect way to get out your feelings.
I love being captivated by a storyline but hate it not ending!! Please do continue and hopefully finish :D
With support*
You know that line, "I will find you, and I will kill you"? I won't kill you because you need to finish this awesome story, but I'm find a way to find you and force the pen to paper!! Fingers to keyboard whatever!!!
Seriously. I don't understand why you would leave this story unfinished but you need to go on!! What a waste of time!
This has a good start, where is the rest? I think it is a good story line but it needs to be in more detail. Are you going to finish this? Please oh please say yes. Waiting