All Comments on 'The Assistant'

... a contest to see just how short you can make a story whilst getting the salient points in!

You can take more time, and expand the story.

The story starts in past tense - which is fine - and then switches to present tense - which to me is damned annoying. At least it's not in second person!

That story is a cheap rip-off of a cheap porn script, nothing more. This is getting your rocks off, not romance. Romance needs some build up, some courtship, tentative characters, because they feel something more than a fling on the side. And the sex, well, equally porn scripty-kinda-thingy and extremely wham-bam-thank you mam.

This COULD qualify as a good chapter later in a story were both charachters are together for a while and have a steamy hot quicky in the bathroom.

that really could have been a great story but you rushed it so it wasnt that great.