It's Been Too Long...

"I love you more than I ever thought I ever thought I could"

EDIT! Or get someone to do it for you.

Also if you don't have a feel for your characters, don't write it, it came across in the story, it pretty much showed you didn't care, so why bother? Also what was the amount of time they were apart? The first words out of a loving boyfriends mouth after time apart wouldn't be 'Why are you here?' That pretty much says he didn't want to see her, it was so contradictory with what he said to his actions.

This needed a lot more fleshing out, too much missing.

Honestly, this was just a first draft too see what kind of a reaction it got.
The next thing I do will be way better, I promise you that.

Not Too Bad

But this probably should be in the Erotic Coupling category. Not a lot of romance here...like watching a porno and fast-forwarding through the dialogue to get to the sex...