All Comments on 'Social Sado-Masoch Secrets, Devil Entity Desires'

I couldn't read past the first two paragraphs, maybe you could try to make it a little less flowery?

excessively florid, over-expressed garbage; you're not William Shakespeare, and this is not the Center for Literary Excellence, so why write such conceited, pretentious horseshit? NO stars, your idiom is ridiculous, your delivery is pompous and off-putting, and your hyperbole is just plain irritating. Why don't you learn about delivery, pace, and characterization, before chucking this kind of twaddle out just so people can see how ferociously intelligent you are and feel overawed by your intellect? Go away, read some real adult fantasy, the kind us normal dullards read, and learn some lessons.

More please! Expand on Susan and her son! Maybe start with an inner struggle and progressive breakdown within the two characters.

This item, will not consider it a story, does not warrant a comment.