The Best Part of Waking Up

so-so

no background a rush to sex and no end all add up to a subpar story. the writing was good but needs more character build up and more plot just way to rushed, this reads like you wrote it quickly because you were afraid of getting caught. get a good editor and delete it then add the back ground and slow it down this chapter should be two or three times longer.

In answer to so-so

I thought it was pretty good. Sometimes people just want to read a quick story. I liked it as a quick story.

HOW MUCH BACKGROUND DO YOU WANT?

SOME STORIES ARE JUST ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED NOT WHY AND HOW IT HAPPENED.

Critics?

Listen up all you literary critics out there, who post their reviews on this site;
This is erotica, written by amateurs!
It ain't Gone with the fucking Wind!
Assholes!!!!

It's just for fun. Damn you dont have to be rude. If you font like move. I liked this story I hope you write more.

A hot and erotic little tale

Very loving and romantic.

I did hope that sis did become pregnant and her brother sent for her to live with him as his wife.

Thanks for the short story.

so so

I agree, they just jump right into sex. Not believable, four years, and they dive right in?

And as for the critics of the critics, if the author doesn't want to be criticised, he can turn off that feature. At least we're not taking the flamethrower to his hide. I've seen it happen before. You people need to lighten up, I swear, any time someone offers constructive criticism, someone gets their panties twisted.

Your story wasn't bad, just needs some work.

Normally I put more background into my stories. This one, though, was only meant to make light of the tone that some people saw the Folger's commercial.

JUST A WASTE OF TIME

who are they and why should we care if they get together? this should be chapter two of three and needs to be three times longer as well. this was a waste of time and the sites space you should be ashamed to put your name on it. let me ask you this WOULD YOU WATCH A THREE HOUR MOVIE IF YOU ARRIVED AN HOUR LATE AND HAD TO LEAVE AND HOUR BEFORE IT WAS OVER-NO YOU WOULDN'T. WOULD YOU READ A THREE CHAPTER BOOK IF THE FIRST AND THIRD CHAPTERS WERE MISSING - NO YOU WOULDN'T. SO WHY EXPECT US TO READ THIS TRASH AND GIVE A RAVE REVIEW? DELETE AND DO IT PROPERLY OR JUST DELETE AND STOP WRITING.

Lighten up

My goodness! The author picked the Folgers commercial to write about. It was perfect. If you haven't seen the commercial with the brother and sister, then yes, I can see how you would be angry and confused. If you had seen the commercial, then you can clearly picture the love and admiration that the sister had for her brother and could easily relate to this story! I loved it. I thought it was well written and I didn't need the build up because I had the Folgers commercial as reference. KEEP WRITING!

Good story

I thought the story was just fine as it was. Having been in a war zone then coming home, I can definitely say you are not thinking with the head on your shoulders. This story deserves a second chapter at the very least.

Sexy and erotic and ROmantic

Great story, but too short...I hope you will add more