Dizzy & Loving It! More Twists & Turns to Story then a Formula One Grand Prix Rally
I especially loved the cautionary doubleback tactics where the two illicit lovers tried to cover their tracks, ultimately to no avail. I dread & yet look forward to hearing the shrew's rationalizations, deceptions & evasions that will be heard in the counseling sessions.
Two minute criticisms- first that Sheila's positive qualities were not very evident. As things stand there's a paucity of dramatic tension, as to why in the world would any right thinking man want to give her a mulligan & try again.
The second quibble is that the narrator is one sharp cookie, but tumbled to the fact of her infidelity, awfully late in the game with all the red flags being raised by Sheila's diva-esque behavior.
I'm going to rely on fellow commentators to list all the positive qualities to be found in the story, but would be remiss, in not saying how adept qhml1 is at playing humor against heartbreak & the practical bootstrap ethic. To sum things up, the three pages raced by like cheetahs on meth. Full marks!
Best story I've read in LW in quite some time. I don't like what's happened to the category and I blame it mostly on the readers, not the writers, on their over the top criticisms. I don't read everything in LW. When I'm warned that it is a subject I don't enjoy, I stop reading.
Anyway, it is great to see some really good writing with a very interesting story. For me, you have taken your place with some of the great ones in this area, danielqsteele1, rehnquist, stangstar06, and ohio. Please write more for LW.
Good writing, nice plot development, but quite a bit like another one you wrote, the one about Annie? He dumped her and enjoyed great success and she suffered. Is this going to go in a different direction?
Yep, a pot-boiler full of cliché, done with a light touch and going down as easily as well prepared junk food.
Perhaps he should have separated when she did not believe he did the woodcarving, I suspect that I would have gone into orbit! After all, if she believes that I am lying to her, how can we stay married? That basically means that she thinks nothing of lying. If they had the son already everything would have happened but he would have found time to seek out a better partner.
I am finally as intrigued about a chapter story here as I've been in a long time. Man has balls but reality based. Hopefully, future chapters will come in a timely fashion.
I have to comment on your delightful introduction, qhml1, particularly one simple sentence. "It would have been a lot easier if the manual had illustrations."
I was married to the lady I love for 31 years and have been divorced now for 17. I found that there were always two manuals missing in the encyclopedia of life. The first, of course, was the How to be a husband manual, and the second how to be a parent.
I chuckled mildly at your intro and I am sure I will enjoy your story, I've enjoyed several others and I hope this will be just as good a read.
I can't comment about the story but want to say that I hope that you do not take a long time between parts. I have got frustrated with the old DQS1 series and HD2's current series because of the time between parts.
by
Anonymous03/14/13
if the offer is declined, just reduce it, and call the good doctor (if cause read. or even if not) at a hearing
...great. Nice story, I really got immersed in it. Waiting for chapter 2. Good job!
by
Anonymous03/14/13
Just a little realism
For all of you would-be novelists: don't send an unsolicited novel to a real publisher, because they won't bother to read them. You need an agent, and one who deals in the kind of novel you're writting. You can find lists of them on the web. If someone asks for money to rep you, they aren't legit.
by
Anonymous03/14/13
Welcome back to "Loving Wives"
This is the best story that I have read in MONTHS!! Talk about character development, I feel that I know each one personally. Sure, I like a sexy scene as well as the next guy, but it's only really erotic when the characters are believable and you have set the stage with scenery and characters that I can visually see. Well done! I can't wait for the next chapter. Please don't make us wait too long............. GO DOG GO!!!!!!
So well done! The best I've read recently and I really look forward to the next chapter. Thank you GHML.
by
Anonymous03/14/13
very good qhml1 , i just love your stories
i cannot wait to read part 2.. what game is shiela playing at. how in her mind did she think she could get away with her devious adultory behavior. he should make her and the doctor pay, send the photos to all involved including the wife of the doctor.if possible sue the doctor and hospital.. just to cause them to hire an attorney to counter the suit.. send all photos to her family and his children and be done with this slut..
by
Anonymous03/14/13
My Two Cents
Hoping he ends up single, very little to the Ex and nothing from his new enterprise.
Mentally, he might (in counseling) have fond memories of years gone by, be tempted to try a restart but the problem is...he is a writer, writers have imagination, are deep thinkers and he is going to remember her years of put downs, sarcasms and the 'You Can't Do Thats' so - he may decide to be cordial and distantly friendly for the sake of the family but - NO to staying married.
Anyway, my two cents and YES, like most of the others, Like Your Stuff!
Thanks!
by
Anonymous03/14/13
Great beginning to an interesting story
Loved the first part of your new tale. Only one small little gripe. The couple was supposed to have been married for 32 years or so, but had a 17 or 18 year old granddaughter. I guess it's possible, but highly unlikely. Doesn't detract from the story, though. Keep up your good work and keep the chapters coming. Till then.
Excellent character development. Story line is wild, but believable. Entertaining. I have no idea where the author is headed, could go in a dozen different directions. I appreciate his not using any of the old tried-and-true paths. This one is truly original.
Get crackin' on the next Chapter. Can't wait.
by
Anonymous03/14/13
Liked it!
really enjoyed it and i hate having to wait for next installment. Write faster! :-)
by
Anonymous03/14/13
good so far, I hate chapters over time, dont put up until all are ready please
the exwife is a total loser. Either his lawyer or the editor would be a better choice.
by
Anonymous03/14/13
Excellent start
You are rapidly becoming a favorite author on this site, the reason is very clear. Excellent start to the story, look forward to more.
Sometimes an author can be such a skilled advocate for his narrator, thru sleight of words, he can distract the reader from seeing the big picture. Here are some unarguable facts to this couple that should be considered before drawing any conclusions.
They've raised their kids successfully together, each half of the couple were solid role models for their offspring during those formative years. Likewise the couple has worked hard and contributed to the nest egg accumulated during their thirty years together. Both of them are better off economically now then when they met.
The husband hadn't been a complete paragon of virtue and has taken his wife for granted,in some venal but not entirely insignificant aspects. It took the shock of his wife leaving for him to upgrade his grooming habits and drop fifteen pounds. Also he built the posh outdoor deck for his mother but ignored her request for a deck for their home.
For reasons of brevity, I'm not going to list the wife's culpability for the current state of affairs. My point is that this impasse is of a recent vintage. The bulk of their relationship WAS rewarding in most significent areas. They fell into a rut & quite likely are better off apart.
I think she was a fool to leave a pretty damm good man on such a graceless and mendacious exit. Yet if things didn't end badly, then they wouldn't end. I'm sure the counsellor will take into account the ratio of good years verus bad. Objectivelly i belueve they've outgrown each other.
It's a personal decision for this couple to stay or go on in the relationship. Either way, I would understand, if not agree.
Great lead-in and character development. Not sure I have a good feel for the wife (other than the obvious two-faced behavior). I really like your details and as you mention in your story, it is about the people and the story not the sex. Looking forward to the rest!
It will be interesting if sheila is to be reformed how you can do it...she just seems lime a nasty,self centered,cruel bitch,she has problems,treats him like shit,steals off literally to her own place,porks some unattractive geezer,and expects understanding?...bet the friends advising her are "oprah" women,bitter,angry women looking to make others bitter.The woman in from boston to birmingham at least had a heart,sheila is a judgemental bitch,like with their son blaming him for the dil cheating.
Good start. Has the feel of DQS1's WWWM, but not as exquisitely cringeworthy. Maybe the age of the couple has something to do with it?.....
I don't feel that the wife is very well fleshed out. She's shrewish by nature, and the author doesn't give us a lot on which to hang the narrator's love for her. Everything I read suggests that he would be better off without her-and I'm a reconciliation guy at heart (really, I am).
I enjoy the author's writing and will continue to read.
One of the reason's I dig this author is his way with words: "I had enough images of heaving breasts, oiled loins and ripped bodices to last me a lifetime." Excellent.
by
Anonymous03/14/13
I did like this one, and am waiting for chpt 2
But I have to agree, that wifey needs more work, and her side needs to be told. I don't even mind if it is through his eyes, as he uncovers her truths and unravels her deceptions. But I trust this author, he writes well, and like anyone else, is putting forth a (hopefully) fresh take on the same old sad story of heartache. I KNOW I'll be here to vote on chapter 2. Thanks!
I really enjoy stories about a writer writing and the background of what created the writing / writer. As you stated in the story "the best stories are when the reader becomes invested in the characters". I am now invested in the characters/story you have created and in finding out how it goes.
Anymore a good story/read is what I am looking for - if it has sex in it fine, if not fine too the only requirement is a good story! Thank you for meeting and exceeding that requirement - I may add as usual since I have favorite your work. If you can let me know where else you are writing / work is at (sorry probably breaking rule for site!?) would love to read it.
Either way if you post your work here I will be looking and reading. Looking forward to next chapter(s) coming out -----soon ---- maybe… please!!!
Well, we have another winner here! As many others have mentioned, I hope the next chapter comes along quickly -- I am not a fan of long periods of time between submissions. Excellent start, I eagerly await the next chapter!
You have really done a grand job starting this story. It does have elements of your other tales, which is fine by me for your stories have always been so good. I enjoy the detail, and the characterizations.
I would have to say that while I enjoy a well written reconciliation, and your Boston series is a good example, I cannot see it here. Her ability to just pickup, walk out, and cheat cannot be forgiven, IMHO. When you plan to deceive your spouse, proceed with that plan, and finally intentionally betray those vows spoken when married, it takes reconciliation out of the equation at least for me.
Should she burn? After many years of marriage, and with her being a shrew as you wrote, perhaps smolder. I certainly hope she doesn't get any money's from his new career, and I certainly hope we won't see a hormonal imbalance either.
His character is strong, and very thoughtful. He is not falling for her tricks, am so happy to see a man instead of the opposite.
If there is a reconcile, it would be very interesting to see how you could pull it off without making him look weak.
I look forward to see how this plays out.
Thank you,
M1
by
Anonymous03/14/13
Very good......
The start of this story is very good and well written. I'm looking forward to the next submission.
I like the story so far but it is taking a while to develop the plot. It could be edited down a bit. The end of this chapter is strange, they are way past the point of counseling by both their standards. His agreeing to it is weird after he just threaten to release information to the hospital and the other cheated spouse. Why not just follow through and make her life a living hell? What difference does it make if they divorce or not as long as she can't get at his new source of income? They are both older, so kids are not in their future - who cares what the bitch does. Allowing her to dictate anything is ridiculous! So, I hope you have a good explanation for why he is going along with this. I am enjoying your writing but it is long, and I hope it is worth it!
English
Another great start by one of the great few on Lit. Keep it up!
I'm hooked
Would love to read more. The pacing is perfect and the hero is an interesting character.
Excellent Start
Please continue. We're all on pins and needles.
Dizzy & Loving It! More Twists & Turns to Story then a Formula One Grand Prix Rally
I especially loved the cautionary doubleback tactics where the two illicit lovers tried to cover their tracks, ultimately to no avail. I dread & yet look forward to hearing the shrew's rationalizations, deceptions & evasions that will be heard in the counseling sessions.
Two minute criticisms- first that Sheila's positive qualities were not very evident. As things stand there's a paucity of dramatic tension, as to why in the world would any right thinking man want to give her a mulligan & try again.
The second quibble is that the narrator is one sharp cookie, but tumbled to the fact of her infidelity, awfully late in the game with all the red flags being raised by Sheila's diva-esque behavior.
I'm going to rely on fellow commentators to list all the positive qualities to be found in the story, but would be remiss, in not saying how adept qhml1 is at playing humor against heartbreak & the practical bootstrap ethic. To sum things up, the three pages raced by like cheetahs on meth. Full marks!
What a great read
Very refreshing. I can't wait for more.
Like...
Like everyone else I've thoroughly enjoyed reading Chapter 1. and am now looking forward to Chapter 2.
Thank-you
Great read!
I was hooked! Please go on....
Hope Chapter 2 arrives quickly
Best story I've read in LW in quite some time. I don't like what's happened to the category and I blame it mostly on the readers, not the writers, on their over the top criticisms. I don't read everything in LW. When I'm warned that it is a subject I don't enjoy, I stop reading.
Anyway, it is great to see some really good writing with a very interesting story. For me, you have taken your place with some of the great ones in this area, danielqsteele1, rehnquist, stangstar06, and ohio. Please write more for LW.
Just enough fantasy mixed with reality.
Good writing, nice plot development, but quite a bit like another one you wrote, the one about Annie? He dumped her and enjoyed great success and she suffered. Is this going to go in a different direction?
Another great start!
Boston to Birmingham was excellent. YCDT surely has potential, and the first chapter was great.....some serious talent on display here, folks.
good stuff
As usual. You set a high standard with all your stories. Very entertaining read and gripping story. Look forward to C 2.
Excellent read and very believeable even if we know its fiction. Got me hooked.
Let us know when you are available on Amazon...
Yep, a pot-boiler full of cliché, done with a light touch and going down as easily as well prepared junk food.
Perhaps he should have separated when she did not believe he did the woodcarving, I suspect that I would have gone into orbit! After all, if she believes that I am lying to her, how can we stay married? That basically means that she thinks nothing of lying. If they had the son already everything would have happened but he would have found time to seek out a better partner.
Damn You Sir
I've just gotten over my addiction to tobacco and now you've hook me with this story.
Waiting for Part 2 is a lot like going "cold turkey" . Please hurry before I chew my fingernails off clear up to my elbows.
Seriously, very well written and very entertaining. Thanks for your hard work.
Woodmanone
Great start
I am finally as intrigued about a chapter story here as I've been in a long time. Man has balls but reality based. Hopefully, future chapters will come in a timely fashion.
A quick thought
I have to comment on your delightful introduction, qhml1, particularly one simple sentence. "It would have been a lot easier if the manual had illustrations."
I was married to the lady I love for 31 years and have been divorced now for 17. I found that there were always two manuals missing in the encyclopedia of life. The first, of course, was the How to be a husband manual, and the second how to be a parent.
I chuckled mildly at your intro and I am sure I will enjoy your story, I've enjoyed several others and I hope this will be just as good a read.
BNb
There ya go again
You have given me something to look forward to. A very good story
How long to the next one?
The wife gets slightly short shrift, but aspiring writers, this is how you develop characters.
Most of them don't need a lot of time, but they need details. Short tempered Nora with the fireproof panties. Kelsie the networker. Zep the scumbag.
Solid story so far.
she is a whore
get rid of the worthless bitch
once she cheats then dump her its not worth it no pussy is. She wants to be a whore let her.
good
Great story. I'm hooked and can't wait for more. Please hurry.
I can't comment about the story but want to say that I hope that you do not take a long time between parts. I have got frustrated with the old DQS1 series and HD2's current series because of the time between parts.
if the offer is declined, just reduce it, and call the good doctor (if cause read. or even if not) at a hearing
I'm hooked
Looking forward to the rest of the story
So far, so...
...great. Nice story, I really got immersed in it. Waiting for chapter 2. Good job!
Just a little realism
For all of you would-be novelists: don't send an unsolicited novel to a real publisher, because they won't bother to read them. You need an agent, and one who deals in the kind of novel you're writting. You can find lists of them on the web. If someone asks for money to rep you, they aren't legit.
Welcome back to "Loving Wives"
This is the best story that I have read in MONTHS!! Talk about character development, I feel that I know each one personally. Sure, I like a sexy scene as well as the next guy, but it's only really erotic when the characters are believable and you have set the stage with scenery and characters that I can visually see. Well done! I can't wait for the next chapter. Please don't make us wait too long............. GO DOG GO!!!!!!
Charming!
So well done! The best I've read recently and I really look forward to the next chapter. Thank you GHML.
very good qhml1 , i just love your stories
i cannot wait to read part 2.. what game is shiela playing at. how in her mind did she think she could get away with her devious adultory behavior. he should make her and the doctor pay, send the photos to all involved including the wife of the doctor.if possible sue the doctor and hospital.. just to cause them to hire an attorney to counter the suit.. send all photos to her family and his children and be done with this slut..
My Two Cents
Hoping he ends up single, very little to the Ex and nothing from his new enterprise.
Mentally, he might (in counseling) have fond memories of years gone by, be tempted to try a restart but the problem is...he is a writer, writers have imagination, are deep thinkers and he is going to remember her years of put downs, sarcasms and the 'You Can't Do Thats' so - he may decide to be cordial and distantly friendly for the sake of the family but - NO to staying married.
Anyway, my two cents and YES, like most of the others, Like Your Stuff!
Thanks!
Great beginning to an interesting story
Loved the first part of your new tale. Only one small little gripe. The couple was supposed to have been married for 32 years or so, but had a 17 or 18 year old granddaughter. I guess it's possible, but highly unlikely. Doesn't detract from the story, though. Keep up your good work and keep the chapters coming. Till then.
NEXT
You have me on the edge of my seat. is part II coming out tomorrow?
Dy-na-MITE!!
Excellent character development. Story line is wild, but believable. Entertaining. I have no idea where the author is headed, could go in a dozen different directions. I appreciate his not using any of the old tried-and-true paths. This one is truly original.
Get crackin' on the next Chapter. Can't wait.
Liked it!
really enjoyed it and i hate having to wait for next installment. Write faster! :-)
good so far, I hate chapters over time, dont put up until all are ready please
the exwife is a total loser. Either his lawyer or the editor would be a better choice.
Excellent start
You are rapidly becoming a favorite author on this site, the reason is very clear. Excellent start to the story, look forward to more.
2nd Thoughts
Sometimes an author can be such a skilled advocate for his narrator, thru sleight of words, he can distract the reader from seeing the big picture. Here are some unarguable facts to this couple that should be considered before drawing any conclusions.
They've raised their kids successfully together, each half of the couple were solid role models for their offspring during those formative years. Likewise the couple has worked hard and contributed to the nest egg accumulated during their thirty years together. Both of them are better off economically now then when they met.
The husband hadn't been a complete paragon of virtue and has taken his wife for granted,in some venal but not entirely insignificant aspects. It took the shock of his wife leaving for him to upgrade his grooming habits and drop fifteen pounds. Also he built the posh outdoor deck for his mother but ignored her request for a deck for their home.
For reasons of brevity, I'm not going to list the wife's culpability for the current state of affairs. My point is that this impasse is of a recent vintage. The bulk of their relationship WAS rewarding in most significent areas. They fell into a rut & quite likely are better off apart.
I think she was a fool to leave a pretty damm good man on such a graceless and mendacious exit. Yet if things didn't end badly, then they wouldn't end. I'm sure the counsellor will take into account the ratio of good years verus bad. Objectivelly i belueve they've outgrown each other.
It's a personal decision for this couple to stay or go on in the relationship. Either way, I would understand, if not agree.
So good I'm looking for your commercial stuff!
Great lead-in and character development. Not sure I have a good feel for the wife (other than the obvious two-faced behavior). I really like your details and as you mention in your story, it is about the people and the story not the sex. Looking forward to the rest!
Good as usual
It will be interesting if sheila is to be reformed how you can do it...she just seems lime a nasty,self centered,cruel bitch,she has problems,treats him like shit,steals off literally to her own place,porks some unattractive geezer,and expects understanding?...bet the friends advising her are "oprah" women,bitter,angry women looking to make others bitter.The woman in from boston to birmingham at least had a heart,sheila is a judgemental bitch,like with their son blaming him for the dil cheating.
Liked it
Good start. Has the feel of DQS1's WWWM, but not as exquisitely cringeworthy. Maybe the age of the couple has something to do with it?.....
I don't feel that the wife is very well fleshed out. She's shrewish by nature, and the author doesn't give us a lot on which to hang the narrator's love for her. Everything I read suggests that he would be better off without her-and I'm a reconciliation guy at heart (really, I am).
I enjoy the author's writing and will continue to read.
p.s.
One of the reason's I dig this author is his way with words: "I had enough images of heaving breasts, oiled loins and ripped bodices to last me a lifetime." Excellent.
I did like this one, and am waiting for chpt 2
But I have to agree, that wifey needs more work, and her side needs to be told. I don't even mind if it is through his eyes, as he uncovers her truths and unravels her deceptions. But I trust this author, he writes well, and like anyone else, is putting forth a (hopefully) fresh take on the same old sad story of heartache. I KNOW I'll be here to vote on chapter 2. Thanks!
Great Chapter 1 looking for more
I really enjoy stories about a writer writing and the background of what created the writing / writer. As you stated in the story "the best stories are when the reader becomes invested in the characters". I am now invested in the characters/story you have created and in finding out how it goes.
Anymore a good story/read is what I am looking for - if it has sex in it fine, if not fine too the only requirement is a good story! Thank you for meeting and exceeding that requirement - I may add as usual since I have favorite your work. If you can let me know where else you are writing / work is at (sorry probably breaking rule for site!?) would love to read it.
Either way if you post your work here I will be looking and reading. Looking forward to next chapter(s) coming out -----soon ---- maybe… please!!!
Great Start
Well, we have another winner here! As many others have mentioned, I hope the next chapter comes along quickly -- I am not a fan of long periods of time between submissions. Excellent start, I eagerly await the next chapter!
What can one say..
that other posters have not already written? Well done and awaiting Part 2
thanks so much for posting
A Great Beginning
You have really done a grand job starting this story. It does have elements of your other tales, which is fine by me for your stories have always been so good. I enjoy the detail, and the characterizations.
I would have to say that while I enjoy a well written reconciliation, and your Boston series is a good example, I cannot see it here. Her ability to just pickup, walk out, and cheat cannot be forgiven, IMHO. When you plan to deceive your spouse, proceed with that plan, and finally intentionally betray those vows spoken when married, it takes reconciliation out of the equation at least for me.
Should she burn? After many years of marriage, and with her being a shrew as you wrote, perhaps smolder. I certainly hope she doesn't get any money's from his new career, and I certainly hope we won't see a hormonal imbalance either.
His character is strong, and very thoughtful. He is not falling for her tricks, am so happy to see a man instead of the opposite.
If there is a reconcile, it would be very interesting to see how you could pull it off without making him look weak.
I look forward to see how this plays out.
Thank you,
M1
Very good......
The start of this story is very good and well written. I'm looking forward to the next submission.
More of Wife's side????
Simple....atypical bitch turning to a slut.....
So far so good
I like the story so far but it is taking a while to develop the plot. It could be edited down a bit. The end of this chapter is strange, they are way past the point of counseling by both their standards. His agreeing to it is weird after he just threaten to release information to the hospital and the other cheated spouse. Why not just follow through and make her life a living hell? What difference does it make if they divorce or not as long as she can't get at his new source of income? They are both older, so kids are not in their future - who cares what the bitch does. Allowing her to dictate anything is ridiculous! So, I hope you have a good explanation for why he is going along with this. I am enjoying your writing but it is long, and I hope it is worth it!
4* read
Eager for the next chapter/s!
Damn. I mean 5* read
Dratted keyboard!
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