Chain smoking isn't erotic. Neither is drinking booze in the bedroom. Even if it did happen, it only detracted from the story. It was as far as I got.
by
Anonymous01/07/13
What a carping comment on the first story. The story is hot! With booze and smoke or not.
by
Anonymous01/07/13
Prior ANON is SO full of shit....
Just like this story.
by
Anonymous01/07/13
writing style
Your writing style is unoriginal and your grammar could be better. Too many writers use "I" when they should use "me." Try reading some better authors for an example before writing again.
by
Anonymous01/07/13
Geez, Lighten Up Francis!
What's not to like about a hot, cheating, smoking, anal MILF?
Can't wait to read more of this lovely woman's adventures, but I hope you will consider having someone proofread and edit you story for grammatical errors before posting. Please keep up the lipstick references... thay are so sexy.
You have a good imagination. Ignore the bashers but do accept the suggestions to edit your work. And then reread it as a reader not as the writer. The smoking was part of the fetish and was acceptable as such. However, it seemed like an advertisement for Marlboro 100. We only needed the brand name once, if that much.
by
Anonymous01/10/13
Proof read
Not a bad story but it was too fast paced for my liking. There should have been a longer seduction phase. This is her son's friend and this takes place in the family home. A little caution would be normal. The smoking and drinking were all part of the scene so lighten up all you zealots. Next time get a friend to proof this before you post.
English
Chain smoking isn't erotic. Neither is drinking booze in the bedroom. Even if it did happen, it only detracted from the story. It was as far as I got.
What a carping comment on the first story. The story is hot! With booze and smoke or not.
Prior ANON is SO full of shit....
Just like this story.
writing style
Your writing style is unoriginal and your grammar could be better. Too many writers use "I" when they should use "me." Try reading some better authors for an example before writing again.
Geez, Lighten Up Francis!
What's not to like about a hot, cheating, smoking, anal MILF?
Voting 5...
Can't wait for Chapter 2
more please ,seems like a middle age real deal writting
keep us posted and write more
so this physically fit MILF is a chain smoker? yeah, way to go. boring story and a waste of 5 minutes of my life.
stopped reading
Smoking is not sexy, and especially as much as she did. Not to mention all the lipstick applying kept me distracted from the story
Absolutely exciting!
Wow.......you wrote that with passion! I think a woman who smokes is sexy!
Great piece Ms Houdini!
Very Hot!
Can't wait to read more of this lovely woman's adventures, but I hope you will consider having someone proofread and edit you story for grammatical errors before posting. Please keep up the lipstick references... thay are so sexy.
Good first story.
You have a good imagination. Ignore the bashers but do accept the suggestions to edit your work. And then reread it as a reader not as the writer. The smoking was part of the fetish and was acceptable as such. However, it seemed like an advertisement for Marlboro 100. We only needed the brand name once, if that much.
Proof read
Not a bad story but it was too fast paced for my liking. There should have been a longer seduction phase. This is her son's friend and this takes place in the family home. A little caution would be normal. The smoking and drinking were all part of the scene so lighten up all you zealots. Next time get a friend to proof this before you post.
Great start
I agree, it could be a bit slower paced, but I love the content and the promise of more to cum, keep it up.
Good Read***
Thanks for sharing.
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