by Darlin92
Wow, lots and lots happening here. Might I request longer chapters? This appears to be a jam packed set up and I am likely to forget important points as this story progresses. Try to submit 20 - 30 Word pages as a chapter instead of 8. One Literotica page is roughly equal to 5 Word pages.
One nit pick to share. The word "anyways" is incorrect and is therefor inconsistent with the General. Generals are educated and expert in their field so they would use correct grammar. We don't say "anybodies" nor do we say "anyones," so please drop the S from anyways? The incorrect usage of that word is a pet peeve.
I like longer chapters, too. Great build up. Keep up the good work.
Darlin - Sorry if my response to the previous chapter came off rather abrupt; it's just that I came into a new non-con story with what was shaping up to be an actual non-con or at least reluc, and suddenly the General starts spouting off about mandatory consensual sex. It pretty much blew my mind. One of those "Whaaaaa?" moments. Telling someone they have to have sex or be punished for defiance is fine - that's the purpose of this category after all, but when it gets called consensual it just starts coming off as BDSM+LSD. I'll overlook it as too much blood flowing to the lower half rather than the upper half. Happens to us guys like that sometimes. :)
Interesting concept so far. Looking forward to seeing where you go with it.
Ladyparts - I can't recall if we've seen the name of the country in question, whether it's some figment of the author's design, or otherwise, but you'll generally find that the more... rustic... a nation is, the less meaning military rank has in terms of intelligence or education. One unfortunately does not need to have a lot of both in order to kill people real good.
The use of the non-word "anyways" is something I didn't realize I was doing and shall be omitted from any forthcoming chapters. I have many grammatical pet peeves myself and understand completely how distracting they can be. The use of the word is in no way supposed to hint at the general's educational status, or lack thereof. As for the chapter length...I'll try.
anywayS ,lol,keep on writing ,I'm very curious about whats going on .
Thanks
It's too short. Make it longer please!
I have been rereading your wonderfully enthralling tale. I was just wondering did Cain 'react' to the spanking the way Malia interprets it when she taunts him in Chapter6? If so I must have missed it. Could one of you kind souls clarify this for me.
Cheers,
R
R:
The spanking scene, in chapter 4, was in her perspective. Cain doesn't really openly reveal any reaction to it, but the fact that it even happened because she was irritating him showed his loss of control where Malia is concerned. Cain is cool under pressure and she really didn't do anything but annoy him, yet his punishment was kind of inappropriate considering he is expecting her to fall in love with his brother and he strips her bottom half and he spanks her. She is kind of clueless to his reactions and he hides them from her anyway. There is also the possibility that it doesn't match at all and I should have reread chapter 4 before I submitted chapter 6, though I hope that isn't so. :) I hope this helps clear things up, and thank you for your support.
Cain is an idjit. This appears to be a good time to buckle up for a bumpy ride.
This story is awesome! Unlike most of the stories you read these days...just meet and fuck. This actually have a nice story line going on. im impressed.
I hate him. I despise the man. The hypocrite.
Not that he would know any better with his limited-by-discipline-training thinking and decision-making capabilities, but intended rape deserves more than a parting cheque and a 'good riddance'. Then again - he is planning a rape himself, so it would be a bit out of character to frown on the act too heavily. Ooooh I hate him. Maybe cockrot is too good for him. Ball-puss. Yes, that sounds about right.
Evebroughtanaxthistime