Blair Moves In

Rushed?

The beginning had some nice pacing but after Blair and Teri had their tryst it was like the plotline went into warp-speed. The story between father and daughter was barely a footnote, it seemed, and almost totally glossed over. That isn't like you, normally. I mean, you've done your fair share of short stories, but this... it was like you were in a hurry to be done with it. What gives?

A Good Start...but...

I agree w/ the first comment also... Seems like you are rushing it, you should draw it out a bit. This story would have been much better if told over 2 or 3 pages, instead of crammed into one.

That being said, it is still a good start & keep writing
S.

Cinco Estrellas!

Me pareció que era una buena historia. Espero escribir más. No tenía suficiente detalle.

I like your story, but you don't tell us much.

So fucking hot

I agree a bit about rushing the later verses's, but hey pehaps you were cumming/being blown or both and could not wait to eat some juiced up cunt. I get like that sometimes when I am reading your stuff, and have to break off and and get some my girls to servive me. But I want some more and more of these sexed up cunts please and soon.Regards. Cunt lapping sex maniac Lanc's UK

wow

You lost a few stars because of the hurried way you went through the story. I think that you could have gotten at least 6 chapters with a bit more character development and less hurried sex. It was hot for a minute though.

Im pretty sure Ive read this before... Its an enjoyable story, though rushed as someone else mentioned. I realized though, it doesn't really have any 'sex' in it, so to speak, more of a dance.

good... but not great

good story, would've been a good series if you'd stretched it out. go in depth a bit, don't be afraid to get raw. Spent too much time on backstory and not on actual sex, so work on that. but good writing none the less. I look forward to more