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Rushed?
The beginning had some nice pacing but after Blair and Teri had their tryst it was like the plotline went into warp-speed. The story between father and daughter was barely a footnote, it seemed, and almost totally glossed over. That isn't like you, normally. I mean, you've done your fair share of short stories, but this... it was like you were in a hurry to be done with it. What gives?
A Good Start...but...
I agree w/ the first comment also... Seems like you are rushing it, you should draw it out a bit. This story would have been much better if told over 2 or 3 pages, instead of crammed into one.
That being said, it is still a good start & keep writing
S.
Cinco Estrellas!
Me pareció que era una buena historia. Espero escribir más. No tenía suficiente detalle.
I like your story, but you don't tell us much.
So fucking hot
I agree a bit about rushing the later verses's, but hey pehaps you were cumming/being blown or both and could not wait to eat some juiced up cunt. I get like that sometimes when I am reading your stuff, and have to break off and and get some my girls to servive me. But I want some more and more of these sexed up cunts please and soon.Regards. Cunt lapping sex maniac Lanc's UK
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