All Comments on 'Tim's Perfect Date'

The sex is good. A fairly typical fantasy, not too much plot, but nicely done and erotic.

I hope you keep writing, but perhaps you should take advantage of an editor to help with sentence structure, especially the use of commas. It is distracting in the middle of a hot scene to have to navigate around a misplaced comma.

Not so bad but it was distracting that you shifted to present tense after "Rachel sat back, looking down"