and hope you will continue this story with more details.
by
Anonymous01/14/13
Awesome
by
Anonymous01/15/13
Interesting but...
I think it would be better to remove the obvious Tolkien references, since you seem to be trying to place your story in an original world. Referencing Tolkien isn't bad per se, but when it's just taking names and races from his work... it's done very frequently, but isn't the mark of good fantasy. Also, there are several typos and other errors of carelessness throughout the story.
Thats a demon lord for you... >.> But wait... Bring her back to my chambers? o.O This could get interesting for her.
As for the references thing. Nothing is original anymore, not really. Using terms someone is familiar with so they can get a snap picture of what your communicating is easier and better than taking pages describing appearances.
English
I loved it
and hope you will continue this story with more details.
Awesome
Interesting but...
I think it would be better to remove the obvious Tolkien references, since you seem to be trying to place your story in an original world. Referencing Tolkien isn't bad per se, but when it's just taking names and races from his work... it's done very frequently, but isn't the mark of good fantasy. Also, there are several typos and other errors of carelessness throughout the story.
Excellent
Thats a demon lord for you... >.> But wait... Bring her back to my chambers? o.O This could get interesting for her.
As for the references thing. Nothing is original anymore, not really. Using terms someone is familiar with so they can get a snap picture of what your communicating is easier and better than taking pages describing appearances.
Great start
Really liked it and can't wait for the next installment.
Mmm!
Your discription of the demon almost sounded like Thelios from Pandarus's story Sacrifice only your demon seems nastier!
Great start
Its pulls the reader to crave more of the story I really hope the next chapter is posted soon and if its longer it will be even better....
MORE!
I must have more. this is promising to be a good read.KEEP GOING PLEASE!
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