All Comments on 'Slavery Ch. 15'

You must be kidding me. No HEA? Sorry, I really loved your story but I'm very disappointed with the ending.

I wished for a happier ending, but I am content with the end of the story. Thank you for sharing it.

It feels like a cop out to just be done with the story by killing Kalen, So disappointed with the ending.

about the kind of a person who could send a fellow human being a death threat.Now I know! One who has been pushed to the wall by a poisoned alice!!

How could you?

I am so dissapointed.. they have been through alot and this story deserves happiness for Alana and Kalen. I hope this isn't really THE END of their story. By some miracle, something should happen to bring Kalen back, He doesn't deserve to die.. He deserves a future with Alana and their baby. Also it seems that this last chapter was written, in a rush. I just hope that you can reconsider not ending it like this, such a wonderful story yet this ending ruin its purpose. Me and my sisters are begging you to PLEASE don't make this the end of Kalen. DO SOMETHING... PLEASE.. PLEASE.. PLEASE..

How could you end the story this way? You spent so much time creating a love story i really enjoyed, only to end it on a sad note. I'm so disappointed!

The ending was a cop out! Still don't like her and then you went and killed of my favourite character just when he finally has a chance to raise a son. Sucks big time I adored Kalen and she gets of scot free after he gave up everything for her including his life! You have ruined the entire story for me!

She got the better end of the stick now you need to write a story about the son but still liked the story

Firstly, I am writing this on my phone, so it may not be the most coherent comment ever!

I want to say thanks to everyone who has read the story, especially those who have voted and commented. I know many of you are dissapointed with the end; it took over a month to write so certainly wasn't rushed. I had never intended for the story to have a happy ending, mainly because I feel a lot of happy endings are unrealistic. Personally, everything working out ok is never something I find believable. Just as I am pleased my characters annoyed and frustrated many of you, I am also please that Kalen dying dissapointed you; it shows, once again, that the characters were real enough to engage and interest some of you, to the point where you genuinely wanted things to work out for them.

Finally, I feel that death threats, no matter how implicit, are ridiculous considering this is only a story. If you do insist on leaving such personal, offensive, hostile, childish and inappropriate comments, at least have the balls to leave your username, then maybe I can offer some not so constructive criticism back.

To everyone who wishes to comment, either good or bad, please have the grace an maturity not to make veiled threats.

Alice

Thanks so much for writing such an entertaining story. I am sad about Kalen, but it had to end somewhere. I hope you continue with either Alana's story or a new one. Thanks again,

Thats how you end it, months of following watching the two try to love and you end it with one of them dying? Sorry but I am very disappointed - actually depressed, I know it can't always be happy endings but there should be a warning or something.

What waste of time, I read the first 6 chapters then skiped to chapter 15, I have no words to say! Didn't like the story, hated all the charaters.

Hi Alice,

This has been one of my more favorite stories here at Literotica.

I came across it when you had already written chpt 10, so I had to

stop there and start over, but, I must say it was well written and worth

it.

Alana truly was a strong character and Kalen even more so for taking

the stance that he did by accepting all that comes with loving a human

slave. I could not help but love them both.

I have since then read your other submissions and can only hope that

you will continue writing.

It would be interesting to create a piece centering on Alana and Ashai's

life, but, in truth not neccessary.

Many Thanks

I don't think kalen deserved to die but I do understand why you made him, she and her child would never be free on his world, They would have to spend the rest of thier lives protecting the child and eventually they would lose. Sad ending and a disappointing one but quite well done.

I loved the first few chapters, was ambiguous about the middle few, and I just loved this conclusion. I think it was appropriate. Good things don't always happen, and I'm sure Alana will find true love in her new life.

Ahhh this ending brought tears to my eyes! I've loved this series, so many ups and downs, different characters and wonderful worlds! (and not a twilight reference in sight which so many non human stories are plagued with)....

and although its a sad ending.... its refreshing to have one that isn't happily ever after due to some far fetched conclusion!

As for those who didn't like this story, why continue to read it if you don't like it?

Great story. I didn't think kalen and the others were going to die.

Alana has gained strength and courage that she didn't have in the beginning.

She will raise a good warrior.

Nadali

She finial killed the poor bastrad, I knew it he was going to die. It was so clear in the story that kalen was going to die. Have good one everyone.

Would be if Alana had died on the table as the doctors intended and the child being raised by Kalen with the help of Brint and his lady. After they killed the doctors. His son should have been allowed to be with his own kind as they were told that the child would take on the fathers traits not hers,

Not really in love with the ending. But I knew this story wasn't about happy endings. Sad to have so many good characters killed off though. Well, great job and if you ever write more I'll be back to check out future stories.

Omgoodness!!! noooooooo I am soo sooo soooooo sad!!! seriously ruined my day... Ah!!! great job!!! can't wait for your next!!!!!!!

Well I have to admit I am a little disappointed at where it ended. I honestly believe it did not need to end that way, but you are the author. This is one of the best stories I have ever read on this site, and I had always been looking forward to the next chapter. I do believe you would get a lot of better reviews if maybe you wrote an alternative ending. For the happy ending believers out there. ;)

about the death threat!!!Some people need to take a chill pill,take the poisonedalice stick out of their asses and develop a sense of humor!!!!

Was I joking? Hmmmmmm..............!!!!

Wow.. This was not expected at all.. Everybody died because of Alanas decisions. Kalans family completely broken.. Talk about a left turn! No one can say this story was predictable.. Great job keeping the readers on our toes and so engaged.. This chapter was bitter sweet., because as much as I appreciated the unexpected ending the multiple deaths and having Alana sick most of the chapter, makes this update feels rush to me.. No matter though- you have found a loyal reader! Great job!! ;)

This left me crying

Since you killed Kalen you could easily follow it up with a story about Ashai and maybe him falling in love with T'ariks daughter (wich is born from a slave T'arik got) and maybe not killing a character and just a cripple or something ( like a leg thats permanently damaged from a fight and the character needing crutches for the rest of their lives :p ) if you think a disney ending isn't realistic enough. Just my thoughts.

Love, Khelia Moriarty.

I really enjoyed the series and I recognise that you have a right to tell the story in your head, but we invest a lot of time and patience waiting for your updates and its only fair to let us know, at the beginning that its going to be a bitter sweet ending.

And if you didn't know then, write a epilogue or an alternate ending if your going to murder off someone we spent so much time getting to know! I mean, this is Literotica, we come here to relax and read something nice and sexy. I skipped going to Les Miserables with my friends because it was depressing and this turned out to be worse!!

I want to be angry but in real life I know that sometimes things just don't work out the way we want them to. I hope you keep writing.

I agree with anom , plus if its a dramatic end you wanted for your story there were other alternitives, you didnt have to kill your best protagonist.

He went to war. He killed people by taking there heart. She was sick like the whole time even had a baby n he dies. He slept with a woman he hated. He took her back when she cheated on him. Really!

can we at least get an alternate ending pleaseeee :(

I appreciate that stories don't always have happy endings, but I look at this as a fantasy outlet, and fantasies have happy endings, or maybe ambiguous ones. I suppose I would say this is a sci-fi fairy tale versus a romantic fantasy.

You write pretty well, and your story has kept me interested to the bitter end, and it is a bitter end.

Hopefully your next story will be more uplifting because this ended on a very disappointing note.

Horrible ending....loved it! Not everything is happy, rainbows, and unicorns.

all i have to say is wow i'm speachless and so sad . why why why

Alana woke up from her dream and snuggled up to Kalen, with Ashai gurgling happily between them. "I just had the most disturbing dream," she told her husband, "we were overcome in our escape attempt and you died on the way here."

Kalen rolled his eyes. "As if those midwives stood a chance against me and Brint, with your lives on the line. Go back to sleep, wife."

Shuddering a final time, Alana did just that.

There's your alternate ending you big babies. :-p

Omg that was amazing, I was at the edge of my bed reading this like a crazy person. I like the ending, very realistic. I had thought Alana would be the one to die then it turned out to be Kalen. To all you people who didn't like the story... are you serious?

This story was absolutely amazing until I read the end. Not sure if I want to cry or be severely pissed off that it ended this way. If i had known I wouldn't have begun reading it, some hopeless romantic part of me wanted it all to work out instead they die.

I can honestly say, I had my doubts on starting this read as it is a toss up if a story is decent on this site. However, I can say I definitely loved it. It flowed fairly well, with only a few grammatical and spelling errors, but not enough to detach from the story. Thank you for sharing this with us. I'm just thankful I didn't find it till it was finished or I would have been on pin and needles for each post. Thank you again! Yes, I was crying at the end. *smiles*

That was a depressing ending. It would've been nice to have an author warning because I would've been happier skipping this chapter.

I'm so bummed right now. I don't think Kalen had to die to make the ending more realistic, it IS scifi anyway.

To avoid future disappointment, I'll be sure to read the reviews when or if I continue reading The Priestess.

Warn your readers before you decide to write a crap ending like that. Sorrow, death and betrayal. I wish I hadn't wasted my time.

I persevered with your clunky writing, frequent punctuation and grammatical errors, confused vocabulary, and unbelievable plot twists, all because I liked the characters and the broader storyline. Now I just feel like I've wasted several hours of my life. I should have cleaned my house instead.

Since you like bad endings so much I wont be reading your stories again. People like to read escapism and happy endings since real life is not so interesting or doesn't turn out like you say.

It could have turned out to be a brilliant story. It really did end up being sad.

Hi alice I gotta say although it was a sad ending I gotta say I'm glad u didn't just leave it the way it was that was driving me crazy. And although she couldn't have her life mate at least she kept her child. I thought u did a great job and think that maybe a spinoff with her finding true love maybe. I'm a hopeless romantic what can I say. Again thanks for the story and I hope u put out mre of the priestess that's what got me into u in the first place

That was a very interesting story. Even though I had to ignore how awful Kalen was to Alana on the trip to his planet to enjoy the rest of the story, I'm still sad Kalen and Brint died. I wanted a happy ending for them. If you had killed him right after his awful treatment of her, I wouldn't have cared, but they had come so far. I'm sad that Alana is left to raise her baby alone. Otherwise, good story telling.

Kalen loved Alana and his son so much that he willingly gave up his life for them. There is no greater love than that.

At first I was so happy to see that you concluded the story. I really liked the other chapters and hoped for HEA... but, alas, it wasn't to be! Wasn't it bad enough to kill off the characters the reader has come to care for? Did Alana really have to denounce the man who gave his life for her? I absolutely despised this chapter and the ending! I am also afraid where you are going to go with your new story, so I guess I will not really bother with it, even though the beginning was rather promising.

I was excited that I stumbled upon it today but now, after reading it, I wished I never saw it. I'm always wishing for a happily ever after, so to me this was a horrible ending. Everyone dies, we don't know Alana and the baby's fate- just that they have the chance to survive.

Maybe you can write an alternate ending for those of us that find this ending disappointing.

I thought your descriptions were vivid. However, you could have used more dialogue. I'm a assuming you wanted to be more cerebral because they are Alana's memories. I liked your sentence structure it wasn't wordy but it gave my eye a journey as opposed to a choppy trip. I also liked your creation of complex character's like Kalen and Bink. Alana lacked character development; she didn't grow.

This story totally broke my heart n took my breathe away... Pls can u write a happy ending ... It's just to sad .... It made me cry ...

She was a whole heap of trouble but through your writing I actually forgave Kalen for his earlier misdeeds.You have a talent for superb emotional writing even if the plot had a few hiccups .thank you and well done :-)

I like your writing style and I enjoyed your charaters. However, I like happy endings, otherwise would be reading Hemingway. I gave this series multiple stars because it was well deserved. But I will skip your other stories and move on to the sweeter endings.

Oh....this was so wonderfully written! Every emotion was pulled from me in this series..... I had hope they would finally be free to love each other one day..... I never expected her having a child and was so happy when she did. I just wished he lived to love her and his son. Every well written indeed!!! Thank you again.

What a way to ruin a story.

Perhaps just one more chapter so we can see if she finds loves?

Now that he was going to have a child and a wife he dies!! I understand his brother dying which was cruel( I liked brint) but him too!!

As a writer, I understand having a twist. I only wrote this way if something has gone down in my life. if so, I am very sorry for any woes you may have. Now for the sentimental side of me...

WWHHYYYY????? I have reread this story awaiting it's continuation and this is what I find! I love it, I truly do. 5 stars all around. But....no....it can't.....no! No! No!

Thank you for sharing this beauiful uet sad story. I guess we all knew only 2 out of the three would live. Such a hard decision, whom to kill. Mother, baby, father. I wonder how many times you wrote the ending?

are you fucking serious

OMG! I am soo pissed! I didn't want Kalen to die! He loved her and she him! He let her keep the baby!!! Gah I am so mad! Hope this is NOT the end and He can some how come back to life or somthing!

man if u seriously have mental pyschotic problems dont write i was going to make u my favourite author now this man u have pissed every single reader look at the commeents seriously i dont understand,why?

I cry every time I read this story and this time was no exception. It's my favorite story on this site and think it needs to be a book. But I'm never satisfied Kalen dying leaves me empty every. I would love to see some expansion on the story. Maybe what happens to the two after his death. Or maybe the son growing up and having his own story. No matter what it's about I would devour it! Please consider it because I want more!

Great job here! It was a fabulous story, with a tragic ending. I feel you have the makings of a fine author!

I love your ending... It took me all of a day to read the entire series and i am so glad I did. I am really glad you ended the story the way you did other wise the it would seem to unrealistic. I was wondering like many other would you make a sequel to it. Maybe have T'arik and her meat a few years later. I would love to see where they would end up....

I absolutely loved this series. But I hate how it ended. Personally, I like happy ending s but I understand that life doesn't always have happy endings so I respect you as an a author by making it a tragic ending.

I loved this story but hate the ending. Please change it.

I read erotica to escape. Not find another world to get depressed in. I think i hate you.

I mean, wow, not evening crying depressing, just like a little piece if your soul slowly became more and more ill until it slowly and painfully died, leaving you slightly more empty and sad.But that is not my point (well not entirely) I agree that I wish you would write a different ending, but maybe you could write what would happen if he stayed with T'arik. Loved 75% of it though.

Is horrible. I have no idea why you wanted it this way....it makes no sense. Why did Narkeesh attack that girl? And why after going to years of battle barely scathed..he fights a few surgeons and THEN bites the bullet??? Makes no sense. I'm disappointed in this...its almost like you hate the characters and just wanted to end them all ...

This was such a good story (except for a few times) but you left so many unanswered questions and the ending was terrible. Do not continue writing if this is the garbage you end up spewing. Very disappointed.

Overall in the story Alana came off a little flighty with her switching back with feeling attraction towards different men, wanting to go back to earth, then stay with Kalen and back and forth. Why go back to earth when you wanted to kill yourself and you seem to love Kalen. Then the whole pregnancy fiasco which she knew would most likely kill her since no one survives yet shes so gunho to do it. She comes off very emotional in that she doesnt think things through and just does them even though we know the consequences are most likely bad. Since her thoughts didnt quite seem logical it came off a little flighty/fickle.

Every where she went the people and society didnt seem that nice. I mean if society dictates and policies arent that great there is always nice people but here they seemed few and far in between. Even Kalens own family. What confused me is that Olivine was nice and friendly at first and the she seemed to revert to her old mean self. I dont understand her keeping the baby away from Kalen. Hes done nothing wrong and he even got together with her to have the baby when he didnt have to at all. Doesnt he have any rights?

The family seemed a little cruel in the sorts of comments they would say in front of her when it came to her dying yet they seemed aware of that..which is weird. Additionally knowing that no human survives on Kalens home planet and he prizes her life so highly why would he take her to live there? Was there really no other place they could have lived? And we see such awesome technology yet his planet seems to have none, could he not brought some from off-world or gone somewhere else for the illness and pregnancy.

Why was Sharia only present during the pregnancy? What about the rest of her family? How was Kalen fatally injured by the doctors? its strange since he suppose to be a great warrior and had his brothers help? I could conjecture that the doctors were prepared and had protection but you dont explain that at all. Do not like the ending at all. A lot of lose ends and just tragic. I am glad i know it ended tragically or i would be a lot more upset right now. =)

Overall the story is 3 stars for me. I know I gave a lot of criticism but it did entertain me. I enjoyed the whole premise of the story just though it could use a little better execution. I look forward to reading another story, i just hope for a little better logic flow and a happy ending of course..lol.

The ending was gut-wrenching and uneccessary. I've read many stories with sad endings - but those endings served a purpose and turned the entire story into something poignant.

The ending reads like a bitter "FU" to fans. Leaving the story unfinished would've been a better ending ... but I guess that wouldn't give the author the sadistic satisfaction that this ending delivers.

This story was so amazing,and then that ending happened and I'm just so desperate for it to be some trick! I mean, I know it's cliche, but I REALLY want a happy ending for kalen, Alana, and ashai. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE, just write a short chapter about some miracle that brought him back to life, or somehow he wasn't actually dead, or something, ANYTHING! Oh my gosh, I am so sad now... Please, it doesn't have to be a long chapter, just a little bit to satisfy the readers, kinda like a "gotcha!" Kind of thing, PLEASE!!!!!!

Your ending made me hate Alana. Seriously, having a child of her own was great but after Kalen died did she not regret losing the supposedly man she's in love with?! It certainly made her character look dumb and selfish!

Before I read the last chapter I noticed the rating was rather low so I expected a somewhat bittersweet ending, but I didn't expect such a tragic ending with so many betrayals and deaths. I hate sad ending but it's your story and only you know what feels right as an ending. It was still a wonderful read and I enjoyed it immensely. Thanks for investing your time and giving us something to indulge.

I loved this story until I got to the very end. Kalen's death ruined the whole thing. It was a missed opportunity to what would have been a really great book. Now I wish I'd never read it at all.

sorry but I hate bad endings. the good guys should of lived. the world sucks enough that in fiction I don't need to read that the heroes die.

Regardless the fact that I know I should be embarassed for allowing myself to be overehelmed by mere fiction, I must admit that I am sobbing as I write. When I realized that you've killed Kalen, i burst out in tears. I still can't believe you've ruined and killed such an amazingly developed story...I was engaged from the start, i became so attached after the First Chapter that i've finished the entire story in three Days. I became so obsessed with your characters, style and setting that I dare to say that I have not found a Single flaw that could have wiped away my great interest for this brilliant, creative, realistically written fiction! I have to keep using that Word to remind myself that this is only a story... Its 4 in the morning and i'l havnt slept a blink, forced myself to stay awake to finish the final Chapter, only to be faced with heartbreaking disapointment and dare I say I believe I feel worse than how Alana should have felt... Why did you have to ruin It like that? Just When things were Getting Better... Why did you neglect the character of Alana Just When She was coming around, Learning, changing, adjusting.... It was rushed, i dont know why but you have managed to ruin this story entitely... What was your intengion? You have managed to create such a close Bond Between your Readers and the story, youve made it so believeable for Me that It actualy broke my Heart. I know It sounds ridicilous but its the Truth. I Just dont see why... And if you had Kill someone, why Kellen? After all he had been through with Alana, all that he had done for her, everything way Perfect about that man, Even the the things that were negative charasteristics... Youve put his character together so well... I fell in live with him before Alana.... I loved the part Where She cheated for feeling neglected...it made her so much more Real... I though It would teach her... But She was Just so selfish, unrealistically... Naive, selfish and unbelieveable... I beleived in her Enough to understand her Perspective and actions but the ending was Just abnormal... I wish you had given yourself more time to Think this over before ending It such a terrible way...im sorry fot iffending you but as One of your biggest fans, i feel i must Tell you how much your wor has affe cted Me... Im so sorry for Kellen, he deserved to raise that baby, It was his baby... Im sorry for Getting so serious but i Just cant disctibe how tragic this endig is for Me... I Hope in the future you won't break your readers' Hearts...

Thank you for a wonderfully developed story. Though I wish there was a little more detail in the action in the end, the ending was heart wrenchingly sad but goo as well. Leaves the reader with a lot to think about the types of planets and the future of Alana and her child :)

I can't finish it. She's such an idiot for the birth control stunt, and then to be all wide eyed like she didn't know she would die? Wtf?

She also learned the first language way too quickly in the early chapters. One or two chapters of difficult communication would make it more believable.

Overall I did enjoy this story, but the actions of the characters were not consistent with their motives.

Didn't want to Kalen to die. He truely loved Alana and did as much as he could to protect her and their baby. He shouldn't have had to die. Loved the story until this ending.

Just happened to stubble upon this and it took me 2 days to read. I have to say it was brilliant really enjoyed it. Didn't really like the ending, I didn't want Kalen to die :-( But I was hoping that Alana would somehow make her way back home to Earth but hey go. Also I kinda blame her for Kelan and Brints death but things happen the way it's suppose to. Anyway once again I really did enjoy your tale so thank you :-)

I didn't expect a well-written exciting story on this site!

Darth Vader: NOOOOOOOOOO!!

Dear Alice, you should be published! The story is amazing and deserve to be on Amazone store or something.

I loved this story... until now. I have tears in my eyes, what a horrible way to end this story. Why did Neekesh betray them???

NOOOOOOO :( this is so sad!

Please let me say, that I read this story non stop. You write so well!

Despite the sad ending, it was absolutely perfect.

Could you please make an alternative ending for Alana and Kalen? This is one of my favorite stories but I wish it ended with them both alive!

Her selfishness and immaturity ruined and ended people's lives. I wish there was a follow up that shows her learning a lesson from the bs she pulled. This ending makes me dislike her with a passion. Stupid ass.

Oh my god, I wanted for them to have a happy ending!! I’m going to pretend that they did because I am too emotionally invested in their relationship to accept this ending. Awesome story btw!

You're a cheeky monkey and I've decided that I don't like you. No happy ending? WTF!!

You had the audacity, to make this a slavery/Troy/Twilight/Hunger Games/ backassward storyline, with so many twists and damn turns my eyes blurred while I was reading... and then end it with Kalen dying.

Do you know how confused, but enamored I was with this story?

Do you understand the pain and slight bewilderment I feel because you ended it this way?!

I mean...seriously. Alana is like princess trouble. I can't even with this story... It was wonderful; I can only read it once.

If I read it twice, I'm gonna start hating her.

It was kinda hard to keep remembering that he wasn't human...#longliveKalen

I'm all for the ups and downs in a story but this story had way too many downs and not enough ups. It felt like in every other scene they were in danger and most of the remaining scenes were all about the tension and strain in their relationship. There were very few parts where they were safe and could just enjoy each other.

Please write a book!

Absolutely amazing! Please write another series, this one ended much too quickly!

the ending was so well written, I just hated it because I wanted their happy ending. This was a great short-term both erotic and plotty. I'd buy your books if you sold your work as romance and kept the high quality sex scenes that really spice the love story. I'm going to binge your other writing now.

Grappling with the Covid pandemic, the declining spiral of democracy in the United States, climate change, a rise in hatred and authoritarianism, the world just isn't what it was back in 2013 when you wrote this story. Times were challenging then but now they're disparate and only seem to be getting worse in many cases. All that is just to say that a happy ending to this story in today's world is just the thing I imagine many of your present day readers ( 05/10/2021) would highly enjoy and appreciate. Simple things, like a HEA, go a very long way now- with all of us having felt loss.

I reimagined a continuation of the story where Kalen returned after being presumed dead to search for his wife and child, perhaps several months later but no more than 1-2 years after the battle. Of course, finding them would be frought with challenges and struggles as he grieved the presumed loss of his brother and dealt with the unknown whereabouts in the entire universe of his family. I imagine Alana, overcome with grief but desperate for survival, would have married for protection and convenience, but lived life with a heavy heart, unable to let go of her past, her lost love. Her little boy, bearing the most undeniable resemblance to his father, would be at the center of her incomplete world.

You're a very creative, talented writer, Ms. Alice. This story has so many subplots and could be written like a continuing miniseries or a soap drama. All the intimate scenes between Alana and Kalen/Olivine/Brint/the Captain were sooo sexy even though I was rooting for her and Kalen. I could have really gotten into a storyline with Kalen sharing her with Brint as his attraction to her and their chemistry was palpable and enticing. Loved the scene of her teasing him while he was hard and barely containing himself. To me, she was uninhibited so I believe she would have easily relented and let Brint have her if she believed Kalen were to be ok their intimacy.

To all the past and future readers of this story disheartened by the ending, I'm with ya! In my mind to cope with the disappointing end, I just made it up in my mind that the ending simply set the scene for what's next in this story with its unexpected twists and turns. The story doesn't end at Ch. 15, but instead continues with Pt. 2 with Kalen alive and healed and a bumpy, yet certain reunion in store for our previously star-crossed lovers. Alana, after having gone through the tragic ordeal and doing her best to survive in an uncertain world without Kalen as her protector, is less temperamental and flightly and more graceful and mature but still sensual and desirable. So chin up dear, fellow fan readers. Just imagine there's more to this story that hasn't been (or perhaps won't) be told yet.

If you're ever looking for an editor, I'm so in!!! Just my two cents. I hope my words may inspire you to pick up and write again!

Dear Alice,

I loved this story, made me weep at the unhappy ending. You are a talented writer, and I sincerely hope there will be many more stories written. Perhaps you could write an epilogue to this story just to let us know the fate of the baby and Alana.

I wish the ending were a happy one. Real life doesn’t have many, so it’s a nice reprieve when the characters you have invested in live happily ever after. That being said, I was invested in them for sure because this was a very well written and engaging story

NOOO, whyyyyy?!?!

I loved this story so much and I loved Kalen so much. Someone needs to write an alternative ending where she doesn't pull that stupid stunt with the pregnancy or at least have Kalen survive with her in the end. T_T

When she started getting along with the family and started working, I thought maybe the story would head in that direction.. getting to know the family more and maybe her meeting new people at her new job.. Maybe that's too boring, but I really would have loved that, especially after her pulling so much dumb shit. Sigh, I'm just heart broken and a sobbing mess.