Temptation

Needs more...

I felt the beginning of the story was really unbelievable. I just can't see someone go from the bar, directly to the room and then sex. The pattern works if their was more of a build up. This just felt really rushed and forced at times.

Chapter 2

At the very least you have to let us know if Nick pursues her or if he does marry Lisa.

I don't see

This as a romance, as much as an erotic coupling. A neat twist would be if there was no Lisa. Lol

That was not romance, more erotic couplings and apart from that comment about he being a horrible lover, there are too many holes in this. Nick is a cheater plain and simple.

Clit Fuck A Dick!

I think this is a really cool story mainly cus of what I titled this comment. In their previous relationship, she was not experienced sexually and he 'kisses and tells'.

Now she is the sexual tutor and 'we' are questioning where she picked up this 'natural ability'. Maybe a Natalie series?

I like Your Style****

Nice and easy with hot sex. Great read thanks for sharing.

Nick's a cheat and she's a bitch - I don't see any eroticism here.

Make It A True Romance

I agree with other posts - that Nick in this story 'appears' to be a cheat-- ...However, you could make it a true romance and write a conclusion....A conclusion where Nick confesses that he is not getting married after all (He could say something about he and Lisa broke up over a week ago, because he realized that he never got over Natalie.).....
Anyway, this was a very erotic story in the end.
Thanks
Dr. P

good writing but...

You are a good writer. The sex scene was hot and well written. My only complaint echoes what previous posters have said: I hate cheaters.

A hot short story

I enjoyed your story....the negative comments always amaze me. If they don't like the story because of cheating they should move on...that is not a valid comment. Pacing...punctuation...spelling...logical flow....do you hook me with the story as it is written...that is what they should comment on.

Keep on writing!

to short

well does she get him back or not??
Ron
cowboyridecc@yahoo.com

This is a scene, not a story. So much we don't know.

Who the fuck was she talking to?

Is Nick and Lisa have an open relationship?

If not he is a cheating douchebag and Lisa needs to know.

Why does she still care what the asshole thought a years ago? Does she really want him or is she purposefully trying to fuck up his marriage out of revenge for an insult she overheard years ago.

I have no idea what is going on and it kept me from liking it.