A Dish Best Served Cold

okayyy... now explain

Where the revenge came in
How he didn't recognize her at all, at all, at any time during the proceedings.
Why she was doing this in the first place. For what was she getting revenge?

And if it was for infidelity, the sperm DNA when produced will be with hers!! ergo he was not unfaithful doing it with her.
And Why Japan? Novel, I'll grant you but is there a cultural reason?
Kilroy

DONT KNOW ABOUT REVENGE

but a set up and entrapment rings several bells. TK U MLJ LV NV

What the fuck was the point in that, FAR too many holes to call that a story, there is no real plot.

A somewhat different take on

your earlier story 'Alter'd Ego.' That was good, this one will be fine - but only if it's the opening episode of a complete story.

I must be getting old

I didn't really remember the earlier chapters, so this short bit didn't make any sense. Maybe you should publish your stuff in bigger sections, or give a brief summary of previous stories. Wait to long with the installments, and the stories are served cold too.

must be idiot

day.

What the fuck was that about? Is anyone else as confused as I am!?

I think the point

Is a variation on 'altered ego'....in that one it appeared that erica and hubby were playing at seduction...this one it seems more like catching her husband as a philanderer by making herself the bait,recording it and nailing him.

Creative, but

I enjoy your writing, but for me at least, I need more background to connect with your characters. As another commenter noted, we do not know why she decided to do what she is doing and why in Japan. Also, how does it become revenge when she is having sex with her cheating husband? What other options did she consider? What does she do now to close the loop?

Deja vu

Deja vu all over again. Except at the end, she doesn't out herself!

Story has great promise

The story lacks logic character development and description and little emotion. It seems to be more of an outline than a story. There are too many pieces of the puzzle missing to draw any conclusion.

After reading both of these...

Well, the concept is novel, but the execution could've been handled much better. The lack of character development, and not translating the Japanese parts into English for those of us who can't read Japanese words using English letters hurt the tale a bit. Also, both of your tales could have been fleshed out better in order to give the characters more depth than you gave them. As is, they are 2 dimensional in some parts, but 1 dimensional the rest of the time.

Next time, I suggest writing more background to your characters and at least try to make them sympathetic. In spite of Hubby cheating on Wifey, I just couldn't feel much sympathy for her.

As was stated by another commenter here, in the first tale they seemed to be playing a seduction game, while here it seems that the wife wants revenge on her cheating husband. This one didn't fit with the first one.

2 Stars. Just didn't enjoy it.

That is how you write a critique without insulting the author. See the difference?