this was put in the wrong category, it is bdsm not incest/taboo. and the perspective would only work for those of us readers that r actually subs to answer the comments about perspective. u did a good job of showing a naive innocence in the girl, but at the same time u made her seem too young or too immature to b a good little sub for her "daddy" all in all it has great potential....i would suggest talking to a sub or exploring ur own submissive nature to learn a bit more
Thank you all for your comments; however I am a submissive so i need not talk to another submissive about it. Also I am a 24/7 live-in submissive so I do know what I am doing in that regard. In addition I posted the story in incest/taboo because let's face it, ageplay is a taboo subject for some. Plus this is my first attempt at submitting a story. But thank you all for your feedback.
by
Anonymous01/25/13
good for you
i say good for you for writing and having it out there for others to read...if they dont like it oh well...your story your style.
English
.
Why did you write in first person? I wasn't there.
This is the poorest way to write as story. Of course, the mindless illiterate bots will go Rah, Rah.
To Anon
I think you mean second person, but otherwise I agree - makes it sound clumsy.
Hot and frisky!
Loved the role play and build-up. Thanks for sharing your story.
not bad but not great either
this was put in the wrong category, it is bdsm not incest/taboo. and the perspective would only work for those of us readers that r actually subs to answer the comments about perspective. u did a good job of showing a naive innocence in the girl, but at the same time u made her seem too young or too immature to b a good little sub for her "daddy" all in all it has great potential....i would suggest talking to a sub or exploring ur own submissive nature to learn a bit more
disagree with last comment - this was excellent
very very hot
My replies
Thank you all for your comments; however I am a submissive so i need not talk to another submissive about it. Also I am a 24/7 live-in submissive so I do know what I am doing in that regard. In addition I posted the story in incest/taboo because let's face it, ageplay is a taboo subject for some. Plus this is my first attempt at submitting a story. But thank you all for your feedback.
good for you
i say good for you for writing and having it out there for others to read...if they dont like it oh well...your story your style.
Perfect
Just how a Daddy should love his daughter...
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