by ImYourSweetheart
But murder and kidnapping? Stockholm Syndrome as a way to woo a mate? Not so much...
Critical comment aside, keep writing and thanks for sharing.
I got a little upset when I couldn't find chapter 2. LOL. I hope it's coming soon.
PLEASE continue this story. Such an amazing beginning. I hope you get chapter 2 up really soon.
murdering a man in cold blood in a crowd full of people would not be tolerated by any person trying to get their mate. nothing he can do now wiould be acceptable to her. should be rewritten and take that whole section out.
that is a wierd wat to start a story it was interesting, but my goodness snapping her fiance's neck in front of her that was just brutal and cruel.with that said though i would like to read more before i decide on how much i like this story
I'm sorry, while it was well written I found it completely wrong "Klaus" (could you have been less obvious [Vampire Diaries] or original if you tried) murdering her fiance in front of everyone IN public, its just not realistic even for a non-human story. Maybe a rewrite with more thought put into the whole thing would be good, its far too rushed too. 3*
Will not be reading further. Murdering her fiance like that is SOOO not acceptable! Nor will she EVER be able to forgive him. Poorly thought out.
I'm not sure why everyone is thinking this is a story about finding a mate. Carrying on, it goes into many categories. And I agree, Klaus is a little bit of a letdown. I was struggling to find a name...
You're not sure why everyone thinks this is about him finding a mate, reread your own story...he was hurt that she was already taken...that there tells us he thinks she is. If you can't see what everyone else is saying, maybe you really should do a rewrite. So what is he werewolf...vampire...none of those would do something THAT drastic with all of those witnesses.
As for the name, not very original, if you can't think of a name, use something normal instead of a cliche.
First of all it's the first story or first part of the story. Second of all, if don't like the story you try writing something similar. Also, Klaus could be hinting that this is a story about vampires because it wasn't made clear if the guy was a were or vampire. The person below me needs to just shut up. If you don't like the story don't read it. There's no need to discourage an author.
I liked it and I hope you finish you story.
Not sure were this is going, but, I would like to see you continue.
It was a good start,although it felt rushed and a bit too fast,but overall,good,but to be able to get into it,it would be nice to have 2 or 3 longer pages,please,,thanks