All Comments on 'My First Story'

I liked the story and I think you did a good job, especially for the first time of writing.

You did start the story suddenly, which was a bit of a shock to the reader, but after that it was okay. One thing you might have done that I think would have greatly improved the story would have been to add more dialogue. This would slow the story down a bit and also let the reader feel like they were there and a part of the story. Pehaps in any future stories try to add some description about the characters feelings, emotions and thoughts. Maybe a little physical description of the characters would help.This would also help the reader to imagine they were there.

As I said at the beginning, I liked the story. Your plot was good and you kept it moving (perhaps a little fast) but other than that it was good. Your spelling and grammar was good and I didn't notice any errors in logic.

You have a talent as an author and I hope you will continue to write and share your thoughts with us. I look forward to reading other stories as you write them. Over all this was a pleasant experience for me and I want to thank you for a job well done. Keep up the good work.

HopefullAuthor