Arctic Shock Ch. 01

I didn't rate this chapter because I'm on the fence. There was no build up and the chapter ended too quick.

needs work

Would be great with work. Background and more to the story

"Submit or I'll kill you?" I guess rape has replaced dominance as the werewolf theme here, how sad. If she's meant to be his mate, that's even more pathetic. And since when do werewolves adopt the themes of men, like Master and Slave?

Is Lucien supposed to be some sort of rebel, or just a new kind of werewolf?

this story has some sort of potential but it was too quickly thrown together and had no build up. I also agree with the other comments this story needs a bit more work.

very good

Fast and dirty, not bad. Will be interesting to see where it goes. He sounds like a lone alpha, they usually are forceful and rough. I look foward to more. And do not be discourage by any negativaty that may come, just do your on thing and enjoy.

how in the hell did he go from licking her to chaining her to a bed and then going all bdsm on her with no break in then scene? like the other post said it is sad to see when a pack or alpha goes completley against what is generally accepted guidelines. next thing you know we will have vampires donating blood to the blood bank for an extra 20 bucks.

potential

I think this piece has a good bit of potential to it. It will need some work if you are wanting to have a sequel, but , for lack of a better term, jerk story, I think it was not so bad.

Maybe I'm just a bit weird, but I figure if werewolves are not real then they can follow any rules they want, and not follow any rules they want. That is the joy of writing fiction, the writer takes the world in her head and puts it in writing to share with us. As for the comment about vampires.... have you seen what vampires have become thanks to twilight??

wha?

Error... He hasnt had this "urge" in years but has a bed handy...along with sex toys? Were those from his last sex slave? Ick....
It had potential right up until the "den" scene :l