All Comments  for

The Gift Certificate

byScarloochie©
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Comments (16)
by Anonymous

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by ythebadger01/31/13

Realy should have gone in group sex

if you wanted a positive response.
The main problem (no comment on the morals) is that the story tells us little or nothing about the central couple or their background - other than that they're married, that he wants to watch her being used and that she's more than happy to comply.
The premise of the story - the gift certificate - could have formed the basis of an interesting and erotic story. Unfortunately, it didn't.

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by Anonymous01/31/13

Slut wife and Cluck Hubby story.

Like fleas on a dog..can't get rid of these sorry authors.

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by Anonymous01/31/13

would have told the guy to fuck off

worthless fucking couple

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by njlauren01/31/13

I agree with ytb

As written it was not erotic,the was no buildup,nothing to make it erotic.Bill goes from being reluctant to having his wife gangbanged,and as much as I hate to agree with what anons write, the couple is not hot and loving,it is like two cardboard people going through the motions.It wouldn't take that much to make it better,for example where the wife says "I didn't get the big orgasm I expected" she could say something like "having sex with other guys is ok but I didn't get a.big orgasm like I usually get from you,it was hot fucking those guys.and seeing.you turned on,but now I need you to lick me and fuck me until I explode,I need you"...plus there is very little about Bill in this,his feelings and so forth. If the idea is to make this a cuck story,then fill that out,too....as it is hubby eats the creme pie but you don't know if he gets off on that or whether he simply wants her to orgasm (in the context of the story he is dominant so the cuck angle doesn't work IMO).Decent writing,just needs to be fleshed out emotionally.

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by Anonymous01/31/13

Sucked

Sucked sorry just not interesting or realistic.

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by Anonymous01/31/13

No straight man would just agree to this bullshit! Especailly the sick ass cream pie! That's just fucking gross! He must be a closet fag! 1* for being gross and non erotic!!!

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by Anonymous01/31/13

If you got those free passes would you want to let all your friends use them? You get free sex passes with your wife and you decide te hottest thing would be to watch your friends use them!?!? You'd have to be a closet queer to want that! No straight guy would like that! I'd beat the shit out of Jim first off for even suggesting what he did and he would no longer be my friend that's for certain! Try again man!!!

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by Anonymous01/31/13

MEH

Oh please...I read this hoping for a reasonable situation...not to be found, for sure.

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by Anonymous01/31/13

hard to believe

a person with a brain wrote this.

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by SparksWillFly01/31/13

Your Bio Says You Are a Male

Really? I guess that is different from being a man.

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by Anonymous01/31/13

talk about gay fetish

and a sick woman

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by x_witless_x02/01/13

Fantastic

thanks for writing. 2*

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by Lickideesplit02/01/13

ANON - Meh

meh! That's about it!
2*

Advice: Read a LOT of Red H stories, especially from the authors who have a lot of them. Read the comments from commenters like LordSlamDawg and magnaMan and the like. RE-read the stories and comments. Try to figure out how they differ from 'under 2.5' stories. Read those comments, also. Your work, at this point, screams that you need to understand more about erotica AND principles of framing a good story!

Also, have a lot of sex and, after sessions, ask your partner what floats her/his boat, and what does NOT! Try to sound sincere about learning this, so partner doesn't think you are just trying to cadge compliments! (This should have SEVERAL pay-offs if you really pay attention!)

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by digdaddyrich02/02/13

A hot erotic story almost a fetish, but still damn hot

Nicely written and edited, along with being very explicit.

Thanks for the read.

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by Illiterateoaf06/23/13

Very good story

I liked the concept of your story a lot. Just to share a little constructive criticism: The "bearer" coupons with the promise not to allow another bearer to cash them in is a little weak. Why make them bearer, then? The blackmail angle was nice, but the sex seemed rushed. She goes from fantasy to unprotected sex with multiple unknown men in a matter of a few paragraphs. She has doubts, hesitations and guilt to get past. That aside, I enjoyed the read. Thanks for writing and I look forward to future stories.

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by 26thNC10/13/18

Sick

Just totally sick.

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