Unbreakable

I'm not sure why this is labeled unstoppable force vs immovable object. Woman quite literally walks in, puts slave collar on domme, domme submits. There's nothing in that, no story even in the BDSM context.

There's zero tension here, no element of non-con whatsoever. This is a BDSM story for chrissake. Submit it under the proper genre. Maybe they can make sense of the bizarre flipping back and forth you.

Nice story -- look forward to more

To TheDougler: nice story

To the previous commenter: What exactly was the point of you comment? If you have actual constructive criticism, make it. If you simply didn't enjoy the free story this uncompensated, nonprofessional author wrote and posted, don't read more of them. And if you simply get off on flaming the writing of others, perhaps you could at least ensure that your own comment is coherent and grammatically correct -- if you're capable of that, which isn't altogether clear.

Cowardice

To the first comment, I would probably take your criticism a little more seriously if you hadn't posted yourself as anonymous. As soon as you're willing to show me your work, i will be a little more receptive to what you think of mine.

Past that, this section isn't called 'tension' it's called 'Nonconstent/Reluctance,' Roxi's subplot is BDSM but Marnie is non-consenting and reluctant.

And to the second commenter, I appreciate the defense. It's nice to see comments with more to say than a juvenile "this sucks."

Can't wait

I really liked this and can't wait for your next installment. Thanks

I redally liked it. F on f not really my thing but I really liked this can't wait for more and did anon even read the story I knew right away why it was put in this category wtg ty

Very nice.

I enjoyed this a great deal and I look forward to reading part 2 as soon as you can get it written and published. A hot, sexy story - thank you - four stars.

More please!

Enjoying the story, though you could maybe use an editor ('deviant expression' was used instead of (presumably) 'defiant expression') and can't wait to see what else she does to try and break Marnie!

Never continue

Unless you get an original idea and learn how to write. Nothing interesting about this and not a decent character in the mix. Dialogue written by a 10 year old.