Fatherly Figure

ouch....

Dude, that is some fantasy you've got. Being literally rip open is a bit much for my libedo to withstand. Anyway, welcome to this twisted little world. Keep writing and posting.

It was cool until you got to the bleeding asshole. No thanks.

Dude....really? The kid may never recover if hes bleeding like you say he is.

Pretty hot

The bleeding part could have been reworked to be just has bot but not grosome

it was ok but u need to edit n make like ur enjoyin the event and not the blood part was not needed since it was a fantasy u had

ouch

Could have done without the ripping of the ass, that has happened to me painful. Bigger is not better.

Fucking amazing. Unlike the others. I enjoyed the bleeding part. Showed how badly he wanted that dick. The power of it. So intense.

good except...

For the bleeding part... It takes away from the story... If tht part wasn't in it.. It wud be a hott ass fantasy

Gruesome? Ridiculous!

There was nothing gruesome about it. The fantasy itself was of being ripped to shreds and forcefully taken beyond his own ability to take on willingly. That's why his mouth was saying harder though his body was saying no. It is a pretty common fantasy to be pushed so far beyond, to be used as someone else's plaything. It's powerful and I loved it. I have had these fantasies and realities. More please.

great

Wow thays great, i loved it, one part that did strike me, the italian accents, just
something about it, but i loved the rest

Learn to spell!!!

I didn't even get 2 paragraphs into this story because it was so poorly written. You really need to learn how to spell.

potential

Your story has much potential. I'm not too familiar with this site but if you can, I suggest spell check. Also you jump from third person to different POV's. The story has a lot of heat to it, don't sell it short. The sex is good, it could be better though. Take a second look at it and keep writing.