All Comments on 'South Mountain Pack Ch. 03'

More in love with this story...its great the last part was sad...keep on posting....

Great story!!!

Soon please. Liking this story a lot. Can't wait till the next chapter.

I love the story so far and am completely addicted. I hope for many more chapters.

enjoyed reading this chapter but i must admit the men had me cracking up laughing as they told their stories. i'm giving the men a 10 star and the ladies a 5 star. the end was sad but loved the way the women bonded together and supported Gina. it's going to be fun watching the teens. i wish teens of today had more respect for themselves along with a few of the grown-ups.

LOVE LOVE LOVE! The end brought me to tears! I absoultly love your writing and your storyline. I hate having to wait on chapters lol

... AMAZING. I get so excited every time I see that a new chaper has been posted. Can't wai till the next one!!!

I have silently lurked on this site for years, but your story is the first I have ever felt compelled to comment upon. This chapter actually brought tears to my eyes as I read it. What a fantastic author you are becoming. Thank you for sharing this story with us.

LOL this was a very funny chapter just like the last one,i loved it......even though the last part was a bit sad overall tho nice work

real soon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

make the chapters a bit longer please, so we can enjoy this series more...awesome stories & superb characters....love it....want more...:)

I'm already addicted to this story but your going at such a slow pace as far as chapter wise, it only makes sense that the chapter be longer to help forward the story

This was such a moving chapter. Especially at the end I even cried at the end. Lovely story so far looking for.

These are great! I love how fast you put out chapters I just wish that they were longer.... Keep up the fantastic work an know that you have a VERY loyal following!

I hope you can find yet another reason to tell us all the same details about the rules of dating or being a hyper-protected female were. Maybe you should have a stranger show up in the next chapter and explain it all again?

Oh, maybe you could just keep doing that until you run out of names for new characters to explain it to. You know, instead of actually having anything happen. Cuz that would suck.

In case you are too dense to realize it the chapters 2 and 3 are amazing. chapter 2 is told thru a mans perspective with language to boys who are obviously experienced and chapter 3 is told to two 15 year old girls who have been extremely sheltered all there lives. as far as getting the rules repeated again remember the family with the 10 girls should be arriving soon and I for one am looking forward to it.

hakdrakken seems really dense...and his criticism is definitely not worth listening to.

I for one, enjoyed the idea of seeing both sides of the same situation. Although the mens POV made me laugh out loud whereas the women just made me smile. I'm not sure if it was because it was the first time reading about the situations or if it was truly funnier.

Great story and I look forward to reading more updates.

it all even the end which made me sad but in a good way as I knew the pain having lost a child early myself. I hope you fully continue the story and dont let that dumbass get you down and stop writing you are doing great. wonderful development of all parts

I like how you had it where the guys talked then girls and you hear it from two different veiws on things. Which is funny. Ohh i love having that one friend that is always with you and you have gone through so much that you laugh about it in the end ( not death or pain but you get what i mean right). I love my sista

So much giggling. Annoying AF.

The giggling and rule explanation is not needed as u already explained it in the beginning. It's also corny as the way characters interact with each other is not realistic. Also pretty predictable as everyone knows the ending by page and age 5. I skipped to the end in this chapter to write this comment as whatever the mothers and daughter r saying I can accurately guess. No need to read further chapters

so the last 2 comments the annom is a moron that can not comprehend what is on the page in front of them. It has more plot that you missed by skipping it then you will ever get. as for smith comment well 15 year old girls giggle.

Good world building and cool concepts. You need some work on narrative style and plot pacing. Repeating the same stories and explanations through men's/women's conference causes a reader to move away from you instead of into the story. Could have summarized a good bit of the second discussion, pulling out only what was notably and interestingly different, especially since a good bit of it is exposition, which no one really wants to read much of once, much less twice. The 'how to manipulate your male by tearing up' discussion was off-putting for me, and I almost stopped reading right there.

I enjoy the loyalty/protective theme that you've got going. It works better if you focus more on direct demonstrations than telling the reader about it. Being part of a big clan like that that can work together would generate some great scenes that can be written about. Overall, you've got some of the seeds of a good novel here, with just some practice needed to hone the skills.