by BeccaLovesWolves
I do hope you write more. You may also like to look into getting an editor. It sometimes helps to have someone else read it before you post.
Looking forward to the next chapter. This was very teasing to start us out. :)
atleast he hasnt gone to her place and broken down the door like some stories. i also hope the guy she was with is just a friend or relative and not a romantic thing. breaking up a relationship to get her is just a fucked up thing.
Very good start,it would be nice if they are a bit longer in the next chapters,look forward to more from you,
Really like the start of this story. Hope I don't have to wait to long for the second part.
This was a good start. I'm intrigued. Something tells me those people weren't bitten by wild dogs though! I hope you keep it up.
Its a great start you have me hook, I cant wait to read more it show some great potential I really hope you continue with this story cant wait to see were you take this .....
Good start :) Must admit I got confused with some of the story line - Daniel was walking home AND rode his motorbike home. Need proof reading before submit your story ok? Other than that, keep up with the good work
One thing I notices is that there were a few tenses that were wrong, used a past tense when you should have used present, that sort of thing but otherwise interesting.
I love these kinds of stories! A little build up before you really get into it:D I hope you get enough good comments on this to write lots more! Don't be like those people who start a good story and just quit on it. Whether people like it or not you should keep writing! Good luck!
The story started with him walking home from work, then he conveniently had a motorcycle parked outside the diner where he followed his mate... He is the alpha, but he works a job where he can wear jeans? And his brother is taking care of pack paperwork, not the alpha? Hopefully these inconsistencies will be answered in the next few chapters.