by WhiteGuy12
I liked it - and want to read the next chapter ... but some of it was a little over the top - for ME.
I enjoyed this story, both chapters. It's a hot scenario. And generally, it pretty well played out. But, the way you describe anal play is just sick and wrong. First, as someone pointed out in the comments to last chapter, you can't go from fucking someone's ass to fucking someone's pussy without washing that dick first. It's just an invitation to a serious vaginal infection. The same is true for sucking fingers that have been in asses; it's not sexy, it's an invitation to a serious GI infection.
Also, you CAN'T shove a cork in your ass! Well, you can, but you're an IDIOT if you do! Something like that could easily travel up into the colon and form a bowel obstruction, to the point where only surgery could get it out. There's nothing sexy about bowel surgery. And it is something that happens too often. People come into Emergency Rooms because they want to enjoy anal play, and they (or someone else) has shoved an object up their ass that they can't retrieve. Just a general rule: Don't put anything in your ass, unless it has a handle or something that will prevent it from going all the way in.
I know this is a fantasy. But the corks that disappeared into people assholes bug me.
One Guy - 5 Women! One Complete Story, One Half Done and at Least 2 to go! One of THE BEST SEX Scenes in ANY Story EVER! THE NEXT SEX Scene Even Better, and That Was Well Done! Waiting For MORE!
Your first chapter was good, not being continued and where it stopped was bad
Dude, you obviously have to finish this. It's a great story line, and there's so much obvious potential for part 2.
What a hoot! Clever sex, realistic characters, FUNNY! I had tears running down my gmfacw at least twice! I'm in love with sassy Lauren.
I have to agree with the anal play comment. It is a very good story, BUTT the anal play is nasty, that turned me off. Ass to mouth or ass to vagina is not acceptable even in a fantasy story.
Consider another version editing that stuff out completely.
...I guess you've moved on.
Got to agree with the anal play being a bit nasty and was surprised at the corks going all the way in. 2 ways to get them without A&E (ER), stretch them out wide or squeeze them like having a shit, neither guaranteed success and neither at all sexy.
Maybe read some more on it especially about douches and enemas and while the thought can be titillating, the reality is that safe hygienic anal play needs careful planning and preparation.
BUT, it's a story and it's fun and I love how the girls are ramping things up against one another. Damn shame this will never get finished as the Lauren/Kelly war was just starting to get interesting.
I really loved this story. Thank you for sharing
I am disappointed and sad that you never wrote any more chapters. I saw tremendous potential and opportunity to continue this story line. Why did you stop?
What can I say another story that was just getting going and then, nothing. I guess after 8 years is is a moot point. I just wish these authors who start great stories would just finish them.
I do not read stories labeled Anal.
What with years reading Literotica, I've come to put up with it
in unlabeled stories (eg. Chapter one).
But I bailed out on this chapter with the yukky -- and unnecessary -- stunt of Mia putting a finger into a butt and and then into a mouth.
Whoever was required to take it in their mouth should have walked out -- like I would have [and did, from the story].
Paul in Oklahoma
I don't play cards, but- losing could be more fun. Glad to see the girls reusing those corks, and Mia washing her hands
Not a fan of the dangerous anal play. No lube is impossible. Losing a cork down there is a medical emergency. Also revenge non consensual bdsm is just bad.
The wife and I loved the story including the ass play. We are disappointed something happened that you have been unable to finish the story. We really like Mia the repressed slot.
Hot setup. Couple issues, a) previous story ass to pussy can cause yeast infections; b) this story - corks entirely past sphincters is bad. Can't really be easily removed without a bowel movement, and maybe not then. There's a reason why plugs have flared ends. Realistically, both of those asses are now unusable for the rest of the night,.