All Comments  for

Mind the Gap

byhansbwl©
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Comments (40)
by Anonymous

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by Winterfrog02/11/13

Well done.

Well written new storyline.

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by nwhaler02/11/13

nicely done

kudos.

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by DB7102/11/13

Do you plan to add more chapters?

I would like to see what happens next. The hows and whys. The rationale behind her behavior. What happens with the kids.

OR

How about writing from his, the boyfriend's, point of view of what happens next. He is also a bit of a victim here. Does he get dragged into the divorce somehow? What does his dad advise him to do now. How does this expirence change him? Instead of writing about what comes next from either the hubyy or wife's point of view, write it from the other guy's POV. Just an idea.

Thanks for your story

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by nakdsub02/11/13

Once again I got sucked into wasting my time reading a bunch of sentences...

I understand it's supposed to be a flash story, but come on...
Give us SOME meat with our potatoes.

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by MadBrown02/11/13

Original

Short but very entertaining and original. I must say, however, that it would take balls to even think of asking a "father" for permission to fuck his "daughter".

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by bruce2202/11/13

Excellent Story

5 stars. A bit short, but anything further would take the edge off the story. I really think that the young man missed a great chance by minding the gap....

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by Coffeemugg02/11/13

Mind the gap?

Huh? I don't get it. What does "mind the gap" mean?

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by magmaman02/11/13

Certainly room for a followup.

At least I think so.

Thanks,
MGM

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by sugna02/11/13

Good

Good, short and to the point. What happens next? Well, you don't really have to read it. The relationship is dead. Her betrayal, occurred months ago. The only question is how long they can live with the corpse of their marriage before it stinks too much!

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by betrayedbylove02/11/13

Different

Handled quite well by the husband. Time for the whore to be alone now. Awww.

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by MattblackUK02/11/13

Yike! What a way to be found at!

5* read.

A follow-up would be really welcome!

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by cantbuymy02/11/13

Fantastic - make me laugh like hell. good idea made into a flash story. 5

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by Lickideesplit02/11/13

Excellent Flasher

Bigg(ish) quibble...No way in Hell, even today, that a young man is going to ask a father for his daughter's pussy in courtship...especially if she has already agreed to a sleep-over! It was VERY politely done, however ... which, come to think about it, is another quibble...there are exceedingly few young men who are so polite!
5*

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by EspressoBolus02/11/13

not bad

Amusing enough. Flash stories are almost always underdone

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by StangStar0602/11/13

Come on!

I know this was supposed to be a flash, but enquiring minds want to know. What happens next. I kind of knew something was up by the cold way that she treated him about the car and the kids. One more chapter please. After all the old fainting trick is only going to last for so long. Sooner or later she has to wake us and face the music.

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by Drbeamer333302/11/13

Enjoyed it

A delight to read. I am a bit confused over the phrase "mind the gap". Am I right to assume he is talking about the gap in years between him and the wife? Just wasn't sure if it was a phrase I was unfamiliar with.

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by MattblackUK02/11/13

Drbeamer3333, it's a common term in the UK

Beloved of the London Tube. "Please Mind the Gap" is an automatic message played at all Tube (Underground rail) stations to warn people to mind the gap between platform and train.

It has become used as a term as in this instance, to mind an age gap.

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by Richie411002/11/13

This story needs a finish

I agree with Starstang that this is too good a story to just give up. What happened to get her into this relationship? Does she have a history of this behavior or was this just a midlife experiment? How did they handle the divorce- messy and expensive or cleans and swift?

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by ythebadger02/12/13

Okay, I'll go with the majority

I'd love to read a follow-up. I mean, her explanation would be fun, wouldn't it?

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by OldHideki02/12/13

Great flash story!

But it does need a follow up. Please write what happens after Annie regains conciousness. Thank You.

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by Danger0902/12/13

Ha!

Ha!

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by karan987602/12/13

Too freaking incomplete.

Too incomplete, an excellent story so far but too incomplete, need the wife's version on this as well. Would be nice if there would be a follow up.

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by zed002/12/13

Incomplete

**

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by RePhil02/12/13

Great one

If others want a full ending then how about.......The wife died from a head injury when falling good enough????

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by jasonnh02/12/13

No need for more

What can a cheating wife say to justify her cheating? There is nothing valid she can say so why bother having her say it. Once we hear her dumb excuse we would want some type of response by the husband. It becomes bigger and bigger. Nothing the matter with longer stories but this was specifically meant to be a flash story focused on her exposure. She has been exposed. The story is over.

I'm still a bit confused about "mind the gap". Is he making a pun that now that he knows she is much older THAT is the reason he is withdrawing?

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by studebakerhawk02/13/13

No need for more.

What more is there to say? She got caught. Marriage over. The end.

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by Mousse902/13/13

Jasonnh, MattblackUK already explained term.

"Mind the gap" is a message played across all subway systems, telling people to be careful of the gap between platform and subway.

In this story, the "gap" could also refer to the age gap between husband and wife.

Back to the story itself. I did find it a bit too short and wanted to see the fallout. But pretty much everything is already said and done. Their marriage is dead. Young suitor victim has already explained the "how", and as to the "why" from the wife, does it really matter why? It's always for selfish reasons.

I'd love a followup though.

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by lonewolf330703/03/13

A real ending would've been nice...

... but I've learned not to expect too many miracles on this site.

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by Tavadelphin04/08/13

As a flash it works fine -

As a nosy dude I want to her try to talk her way out of this one and fix her shit -

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by monkcalm04/22/13

LITTLE story

ehh man..woman..cheats..over? rinse and repeat, you got good plots use them.

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by cantbuymy04/22/13

Lovely little flash story

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by William_Lines12/25/13

I loved it.

As a flash story this one really connected. I particularly liked the "Mind The Gap" quotation you used. Many commentators have suggested that the story was incomplete but I felt that it ended at a perfect point. It could have been longer but that would have been only a further explanation for what we know is going to happen. Thanks for a five star story.

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by tazz31712/25/13

NO EPILOG REQUIRED

this was complete with subject, verb and punctuated, TK U MLJ LV NV

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by pumpop20103/09/15

Great story but.......

This is a great story but it is screaming for an ending.

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by krosis66604/06/15

What more is needed?

There's no need for any follow-up, unless you want a chapter with a divorce case with 2 lawyers fighting over the scraps, and discussions about alimony and custody. Stick a fork in, its done.

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by betrayedbylove03/21/16

Stupid

Don't cheat on your family. We were all young once.

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by tazz31703/21/16

THE 1ST DECEIVER, AS ALWAYS

never has a chance, TK U MLJ LV NV

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by nancyharpman1709/09/16

Okay. She Was Cheating On Her Husband And Her Children

How stupid can a woman be? Don't divorce her. Make her live in a totally loveless marriage until he...or she dies!

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by ErotFan10/31/16

This begs for a sequel.

Or an epilog.
Because there is a 'gap' at the end.
P.S. Another unique way to learn of a cheater.

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by Winestone11/15/16

Loved it

Just had to laugh.

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