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Well done!
A well-written, erotic story that is very believeable. I'm anxious to read more of your work.
As stories go
This one is very good.
Thanks,
MGM
A ' Cut 2 The Chase ' Special
This was a pretty matter of fact tryst. It was hard for me to get outraged or excited by the action. The two had an itch & scratched it. Updike did this better but Updike is dead. This will have to do until he resurrects, I suppose.
What? No complaints about cheating?
Dear me, the moral majority must be on holiday!
I actually didn't find it very erotic - it was all too matter of fact for that. Dialogue was okay, though.
Beware
Allen's going to take that shotgun and shove it up your ass then blow his wife's brains out. Author, which one are you. The husband, the wife or the neighbor? If you're the wife or the neighbor you should live in pain you fucking cheater. I'm being nice too.
HA
betrayedbylove...
...his name says it all. "My wife screwed me over, and now I'm going to read every cheating wife story on Lit and dump on it and its author."
Pussy Music
The squishing sound of her pussy is what I call pussy music or the kitty purrrring. I love that sound. Hot story-thanks
Poor
poor Betrayedby. He suffers. He is alone now. Poor baby.
Allen couldn't take of business
So, like BetrayedBy, he left his wife to find some love and sex where she could. Her quest led to a very sexy story.
YOU NEED AN EDITOR
SIMPLY TERRIBLE MISUSE OF WORDS AND GRAMMAR.
Not a lot of tension
Kinda like sex between an established married couple, but a little more exploratory! Not bad at all.
4*
Could Have Had More
You could have had more stars, (I gave you 3), if it wasn't for the spelling and grammar, already mentioned by others. Maybe try working with one of Lit's volunteer editors before submitting your next piece.
They should talk Allen into longer fishing trips.
Ann seems to be a hot MILF, and if her husband is out of the way on fishing trips, perhaps he could get a lot more of her sweet pussy, and ass.
I'd like to read more of their fucking each other while her husband is out of town, and how their relationship grows.
I liked it: 5*****
Thanks for writing. And don't worry about the spelling/grammar police they are frustrated 2nd grade wannabe teachers.
tom anon
grammer!
No. DO worry about grammer AND punctuation. Do not ignore spelling. No man has a 'prostrate'. He has a Prostate gland. Prostrate is when someone lies flat on the ground in submission, suplication, or sadness. Grammer, punctuation, composition, and spelling are how we communicate with one another. You've a good story here, but you need to get a proofreader. Good work, but don't pay any attention to advice that tells you its OK to be less and that work suffering from mistakes is fine. You are a good storyteller and remember - mediocrity is not desirable.
Enjoyed that quite a bit
please continue some of your higher rated stories.
And if you want to avoid the grammar complaints, copy and paste your story into an online tool like http://www.grammarly.com/
☆☆☆☆+ (4.45/5.0 = 89% = A) TOTALLY REALISTIC
:-)
Neighbour
I had an affair with my older neighbour too...I was 34 and she was 58, my wife introduced us at a Xmas party not long after we moved there...Anne had a devilish streak and her husband George was just plain boring.....an hour into the party she asked if I could help her get some booze from the garage to replenish the bar...as we went in , her hand 'accidentally' brushed my cock ( it was rock hard anyway because I had been following her in her long flowing skirt and black stiletto boots and a very shapely behind )... I must have gasped out loud because she turned around and kissed me deeply, her hand going straight to my cock as she did so!! - quick as a flash I slid my hand into her skirt and felt to my delight ...stockings!!...I stroked them for a second or two and then carried on up to her crotch...oh wow , a totally bare smooth CUNT !!, she was panting in my mouth as I fingered her, then she pulled out my aching cock...we didn't have time to fuck there and then, but I made her cum with my fingers ( we did get together when our spouses were out about a week later, and fucked ourselves silly ) ....we carried on our affair for 7 years until they moved...she was , and still is one of the sexiest women I have ever known
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