Politically Correct

Dialogue is dramatically improving.

Don't know if that's an editor's help, but if it's self-developed, congratulations. A lot of your previous work (Camp Rape, etc) has been horrifically bad when it comes to characters talking to each other.

Still need some work on plausibility unless you're going for Humor, however. Interrupting a gang-rape in progress for the purpose of claiming sole rape-privileges is one way to find oneself resented, if not outright beaten to death by one's employees.

Nice story.