by liebetooyoo
Yup, its not bad, but how about making the chapter a few pages long or at least a very full single pg. Maybe if the next chapter has as few words then possibly combine 3-4 and just submit it as it looks chapter 2 would have still showed in new paragraph near 2/3rds down page., regardless, I still liked the story.
You really stepped it up a notch with this chapter, it was freaking hot!!! I loved the ass sniffing!!! Would really like to see some analingus and more descriptive language concerning the the scent of her ass. Anxiously awaiting the next chapter!! Thanks for sharing.
I love the story, but it seems you are rushing it too much. Please slow the pace a little and make the chapters longer.
Thanks for the good story, Rigatony :/)
build the story don't rush its good and could be great. lengthen it and i hope mum and dad get involved. looking forward to more. cheers.
Spot on.... I think you could have played it out just a tad bit longer.... But even though it was short but I blew my load along with the brother..... Super HOTTT.... :P
I know u want this as a purely sexual story but if u had added In just 10 percent more of a storyline this would be a really good read, currently its only jerk of material.
Somebody please hump me!! Lick my big tits. Finger me. Do what ever you want with me!!
Awww, damn Horny Girl, you're almost a year away from me:(. Oh for a time traveling teleport machine! Hehehe!
You still can fuck my tight wet virgin pussy. And suck my big tits. Do you have snapchat??
If you both enjoyed that, ok..... You could ask her to pee in your mouth.... like the end scene.
@cliffb26 Just shut the F up. No one asked for your dogmatic views. I like Fuji apples because they are sweeter but my taste buds isn't the only ones that matter. Gala apples might be sweeter to some but I not going to say they are wrong. I just don't eat Gala apples instead of trying to change ones experience. In no way the rules say descriptive writing only.