by TheMogul40
A creative theme with well thought out tempo and flow..... There were some spots where the word choices were a stretch, but I too have such flaws in my compositions. Thanks for sharing...
I would suggest this verse "the love making stopped long ago
this night was far deeper"
might be better as the first two lines of that four line verse as the poem then picks up its frenetic pace that just runs away, also the three line finale as opposed to the four line verses is well done and a good closure.
I think you did a great job with this poem. It hits very close to home for me. Thanks for writing and sharing it.
I love this poem!!!!! My man and I both travel for work and sometimes don't see each other for days sometimes even weeks at a time and this is what it is like when we see each other again . . . :)
Loved the rhythm of this! Your writing is playful, but it conveys something intense! LOVED this!