by LondonSerialDater
Good first writing. Very hot scene. Don't know how much reality is in this but I'm very glad you ARE still here to share it. Be careful and write more.
A most enjoyable and well-written story, especially as a first effort. You have a good story and you tell it well, fully worthy of the five stars I have awarded it. You should, perhaps, use either written numbers or numeric symbols, rather than a mixture of both, but that is of little importance.
Thank you for writing so well and sharing your talent with us - and please write more!
I'm a pro editor and work with a lot of beginning writers. This attempt was very good - I found myself really wishing I could go through it with you and teach you to take it up a notch - I know you could and that you'd love learning. You did a lot of things right. About the "story" though - you didn't come? He failed you! It is my understanding that any dom worth his weight is interested first in YOUR pleasure. Something to think about as you rework the story. If you ever want any help contact me at lichencraig at yahoo dot com. Or better, find me on Twitter at lichencraig and holler. I'll see it.
Surprised there aren't more either parts or stories?
I think we get email and snail mail from across the pond.
send some more.
KjY
I have submitted a couple of times, and I am always interested in how other women feel during their first time. You told your story well enough so that I can believe that it actually happened that way. My own "first time" was similar, and I also did not come. He seemed pleased, and I never dated him again, lol. I wonder whether you dated your first Dom again. I realize that we subs are there to please the Doms, but if we receive no praise or orgasms, do they really expect us to date them again? You told your story well, and I appreciated it :)