Good first writing. Very hot scene. Don't know how much reality is in this but I'm very glad you ARE still here to share it. Be careful and write more.
A most enjoyable and well-written story, especially as a first effort. You have a good story and you tell it well, fully worthy of the five stars I have awarded it. You should, perhaps, use either written numbers or numeric symbols, rather than a mixture of both, but that is of little importance.
Thank you for writing so well and sharing your talent with us - and please write more!
English
Good first writing. Very hot scene. Don't know how much reality is in this but I'm very glad you ARE still here to share it. Be careful and write more.
Very, very good.
A most enjoyable and well-written story, especially as a first effort. You have a good story and you tell it well, fully worthy of the five stars I have awarded it. You should, perhaps, use either written numbers or numeric symbols, rather than a mixture of both, but that is of little importance.
Thank you for writing so well and sharing your talent with us - and please write more!
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