by XXNoraJeanXX
Girl comes onto man, Man takes virginity, Girl gets revenge for something she chose to do.
Do you hate men?
Amazing how men seem to think women just naturally LOVE anal sex, but that men who like it are wimps or gay or ????? - somehow not something that s/b enjoyed by a manly man. Its cool how you made it seem so sexually satisfying for this young male who loved doing his women anally, but never imagined that he could or would enjoy the same kind of anal invasion. Good story, good irony.
I don't hate men!! LOL I just had fun with these characters. A battle of wills if you will. I just write for fun. If you didn't enjoy it - hey can't win them all. I still appreciate comments.
"I don't hate men!!"
If doing or saying one sexist thing meant you hated half of humanity we'd all be going to hell. Hell, it's just been a few hours since the last time I did something I realized had been sexist afterwards.
Still, a story where gender is an important factor where both the characters and the narrative fails to draw a clear line between ok (consenual anal) and what's not ok (rape, which inserting something in an orfice of a sleeping/passed out person is, restraining someone without their consent, theft) does have lot of unfortunate implications.
I'd prefered if Trace had acknowledged how messed up their final actions were, but even an addition to the disclaimer at the end would have sufficed. (in a story featuring rape and drunk driving you it's the second you remind your audience isn't ok?)
Great story up until the point where he falls asleep though, too bad about the ending.
If you hide behind anon, I will gladly leave your comments for others to see...even negative ones. However, I personally, can't take you seriously. It is easy to sit behind a keyboard with your identity hidden and say things. I wrote a story. I can put whatever I wish in the story. To put it on Literotica I have to follow certain rules - which I did. If you don't like it, I am sorry you wasted your time, but that is a chance we all take when reading anything anywhere.
I just want to point out. Trace didn't have to leave the bar with her. He drove. He didn't have to drive to her house. He could have left at just about anytime. He was not physically hurt at any time - not even at the end. Nor was he unhappy. Even at the end of the story it was "mild". Pictures/video could have been taken. His wallet/vehicle could have been moved/taken/damaged.
It's fiction. And if you don't like it then don't read it. Write something better. Put your name to your comments. Feel free to email me. All of the above.
I think you misunderstood me by assuming that I was the same person as the first anonymous poster. I was not continuing his attack but saying that he was over reacting. Describing the slightly problematic aspect was part of saying he was over reacting and also as constructive criticism.
" If you don't like it, I am sorry you wasted your time"
You didn't waste my time at all. I thought it was a good story that would have been great if not for a somewhat flawed ending.
"I just want to point out. Trace didn't have to leave the bar with her. He drove. He didn't have to drive to her house. He could have left at just about anytime. He could have left at just about anytime. He was not physically hurt at any time - not even at the end."
There was nothing really bad in your story, (except for a bit of mood whiplash at the end). You could write much, much harsher stuff without me batting an eyelid. I just think that fiction that includes both consentual and non consentual elements really could use a disclaimer. (actually I think all fiction describing non-consent should have a disclaimer, it's just more important in some cases).
"Write something better."
It would be arrogant to think I could. And even more arrogant if I thought I could write non-consent fiction without occationally writing something problematic. I write to the best of my limited abilities, use disclaimers very liberally and hope for the best.
I'm sorry that my comment could be interpreted as implying some sort of hatred on your part and keep up the good work.
It was a awesome story but hated the ending. To be so pathetic to make him drive home in a dress says very little for the Ladies.
The buildup is great and sustained; but at the end it feels like something is just tacked on that is inconsistent with the narrative you have established so well. I would do a bit more work and have him publicly acknowledge his new condition. She might spend the next day drawing him deeper into love/lust and his subjugation, all within the scope of their bet. Then they might return to the bar, possibly with him in drag, and she might bend him over the same pool table and have him begging for her to fuck him in his ass in front of everyone, which she does. And so he publicly becomes a cock whore in front of everyone.
Please do a part 2 maybe where he begs for forgiveness and to be either one of the sisters sissy or both or something along those lines it's too good of a story not to make a part 2
I really enjoyed this story and hope that maybe a chapter 2 comes from it.
I was all but certain that the twist would be that Mia isn't wearing a fake dick... but, instead, she turns out to be a trans woman.
Instead, this ends with some lameness about stealing his clothes? Um, whatever...
It amazes me how many people on this site like degradation stories couched in fetish.
Super well written.
i get the context of the story completely.....and have little sympathy for "Trace".......except the exceptional fucking he took....which i would take as well in more pleasant circumstances.....