All Comments on 'Our Finest Hour'

by MSTarot

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  • 11 Comments
RockyStoneRockyStoneabout 11 years ago
Not bad

The story needs editing and finishing to be an actual story. Needs some editing, but you did ok.

RS

oldnornryoldnornryabout 11 years ago

I your intent was to instill the sense of urgency and survival instincts during the bombings, great job! I've read stories of WWII London bombings and that is why there was such a boom of war babies. Keep writing! I'm waiting for ch 2.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 11 years ago
Total Rubbish

Put it in the bin and don't write any more

AnonymousAnonymousabout 11 years ago
Great story, writing lacking

Your do a good job of creating these scenes and stories, but you really need to proofread them. Mistakes like having "he" instead of "her" are really careless. There are also times where a sentence is missing entire words. A quick proofread and you should find most if not all of these.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 11 years ago
epic

that was epic!! well written!! looking forward to more of your work

mrpervy46mrpervy46about 11 years ago
Great Work

It was a pretty good story, hon never mind the anonymous cowards. Cowards don't deserve the right to comment, and for your next submission, they should be required to sign in to comment. You have my full support on that. I don't mind you contacting me.

DonricoDonricoabout 11 years ago
I felt the urgent need to be comforted.

I loved it. I did feel the urgency. I sensed the desire to escape the horror. I needed to be closer and I was totally absorbed in and with Coleen. I loved it.

digdaddyrichdigdaddyrichabout 11 years ago
Nicely done

A well written story and a very good storyline.

Thanks for the read.

bigdaddyg123bigdaddyg123about 11 years ago
Our Finest Hour

What a hellava place to locate a niece and end up in a bomb shelter in the middle of "The Battle Of Britain", the niece speaking little English and her uncle, courier, and he can't.....speak French? No way! All WWII AEF military and civilian personnel knew several words of the locale's they were assigned to, and most were supplied with small booklets of the locale's language.

The finding of love in such a desolate hell-hole is unique, especially so when one of the lover's is a never seen-before niece found by her never seen-before uncle. There's an old adage, "...there's no aethiest in a foxhole..." and likewise love will always be found, even in the middle of armgaddon in a bomb shelter awaiting death.

The story's location is unique but very worthwhile as knowledge and insight into situations of imminent death and destruction. Love can and does happen--anywhere!

PolyLvrPolyLvrabout 11 years ago
BigDaddy

About the language. He was in England, not France. French may not have been a necessary part of his training.

MSTarotMSTarotabout 11 years agoAuthor
Ah the French

When I was writing this out I had a lot more notes , most in my head... some on paper, that didn't make their way into the story. I wanted a quicker pace.

Carl was ment to be a Political Aid. A Non military Aid du Camp to a non specified person in Washington. He was to be hand carrying an important bit of documentation (The latest news on the bomb maybe didn't reaserch that once I got to writing it out and elected to not specify just what he was carrying) to the US Embassy in London.

Not a normal courier just someone( trustable) pressed into doing a job real quickly because someone else was busy elsewhere.

This was just a way of passing a hour or so one afternoon.

I should have reserched it maybe a bit more and maybe made it longer. Shrug.

Done for fun.

M.S.Tarot

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