While I don't always like the ending of a story I understand that it's your call and realize that the ending is one of many that you could have chosen. I just like the the way you tell a story and the way the characters have clear identities and that the endings are well crafted.
Another 5* performance.
Thanks
by
Anonymous07/07/16
Hahaha!
Ok. The humor of this ending pushed it into the 5* range for me.
I've read a bunch of your stories, this is my first response to anything on this site. I didn't like the last chapter as much, but I really liked reading from her perspective as it made her more real in my eyes. One thing I haven't seen much if at all. Wonder if a longer story would work that went back and forth with one chapter being from his side and the next from her side. I think both characters would be more real and believable, but I think it might be difficult to write and keep everything straight, but if any writer out here could accomplish it, I think you'd be the one. Great work as per usual- 5 stars
by
Anonymous09/01/16
not great
When Kelsy showed up with Sheila he should have asked BOTH of them to leave. Kelsy was hiding the fact from him that his Ex was building so close to him, time to move again and cut Kelsy off from HIS money (let her get money from gramma) this money train has pulled out. She is no better than Sheila in betraying Roy. Sheila spent her money on property and building so she would not be able to follow him after another move. As others have said she burned him twice already, just turn and walk away.
"Our granddaughter does but she promised not to tell him. I want it to be a surprise." - Why does Kelsie owe more loyalty to her grandmother than her grandfather? He's the one that supported her, put her through college. She should NEVER have agreed to keep her Sheila's plans secret.
"He didn't know Roy, had no clue how he thought." - But YOU knew Roy, or should have, and listened to the doctor anyway!
"Roy, dating? Banging some bitch instead of loving on me. I'll kill her." - Excuse me? YOU break up with him, and then get pissed because he's dating someone else? Get real!
I'm sorry, I'm not buying the "hormone" excuse. Were her hormones out of whack when she pulled the same crap before they were even married?
"Kelsie didn't approve." - It's not her place to approve OR disapprove!
She thinks he's doing his MARRIED lawyer? Does she think everyone shares her morals?
Why should it burn her that he pulls a cougar? He's a free agent, she has no claim on him.
@Goodhue - I don't understand your being down on Roy. He had every right to do what he did. If it bothered Sheila so much nobody forced her to build a house right across the cove from him. As much as he enjoyed the FWB, I'm sure he would have been just as happy if she moved out of state!
The Whole Story: Liked the way he and Sabrina got together at the End. Every time she said You Cant Do That! He Did that so she will either have a threeway or he will and she will spy and get pissed. as far as Sabrina is concerned she stuck by and helped her friend to get back Together after her first Time. By the time she is with him it has been 2,3 years . She does'nt owe anything and Billy got his young thing.
by
Anonymous01/17/17
Not Bad but....
I don't know why the third chapter was necessary, it was basically just a re-hash of chapter 2.
5***** I'm stingy with my 5's...but this was good. I didn't like all of it...in a way just like I do not like all of me...but it is YOUR story and fiction. That said, damned good!!!
I like happier endings...having been widowed in my very good second marriage which ended in 4 years of cancer pain for her. And me.
In my opinion, you are skillful and will have read all your stuff in due time. Thanks.
English
I like anything you write
While I don't always like the ending of a story I understand that it's your call and realize that the ending is one of many that you could have chosen. I just like the the way you tell a story and the way the characters have clear identities and that the endings are well crafted.
Another 5* performance.
Thanks
Hahaha!
Ok. The humor of this ending pushed it into the 5* range for me.
Nice change of perspective
I've read a bunch of your stories, this is my first response to anything on this site. I didn't like the last chapter as much, but I really liked reading from her perspective as it made her more real in my eyes. One thing I haven't seen much if at all. Wonder if a longer story would work that went back and forth with one chapter being from his side and the next from her side. I think both characters would be more real and believable, but I think it might be difficult to write and keep everything straight, but if any writer out here could accomplish it, I think you'd be the one. Great work as per usual- 5 stars
not great
When Kelsy showed up with Sheila he should have asked BOTH of them to leave. Kelsy was hiding the fact from him that his Ex was building so close to him, time to move again and cut Kelsy off from HIS money (let her get money from gramma) this money train has pulled out. She is no better than Sheila in betraying Roy. Sheila spent her money on property and building so she would not be able to follow him after another move. As others have said she burned him twice already, just turn and walk away.
Re-Reading
"Our granddaughter does but she promised not to tell him. I want it to be a surprise." - Why does Kelsie owe more loyalty to her grandmother than her grandfather? He's the one that supported her, put her through college. She should NEVER have agreed to keep her Sheila's plans secret.
"He didn't know Roy, had no clue how he thought." - But YOU knew Roy, or should have, and listened to the doctor anyway!
"Roy, dating? Banging some bitch instead of loving on me. I'll kill her." - Excuse me? YOU break up with him, and then get pissed because he's dating someone else? Get real!
I'm sorry, I'm not buying the "hormone" excuse. Were her hormones out of whack when she pulled the same crap before they were even married?
"Kelsie didn't approve." - It's not her place to approve OR disapprove!
She thinks he's doing his MARRIED lawyer? Does she think everyone shares her morals?
Why should it burn her that he pulls a cougar? He's a free agent, she has no claim on him.
@Goodhue - I don't understand your being down on Roy. He had every right to do what he did. If it bothered Sheila so much nobody forced her to build a house right across the cove from him. As much as he enjoyed the FWB, I'm sure he would have been just as happy if she moved out of state!
YCDT Too cool
this was a third read for all 3. I enjoyed them all. You did do that.
Repeat of A Terrible Chapter 2
Just as bad as Chapter 2.
2nd read
I never rated it the 1st read as I did not care for it very much. It did not go the way I thought it would. On 2nd read I really enjoyed it.
Loved
The Whole Story: Liked the way he and Sabrina got together at the End. Every time she said You Cant Do That! He Did that so she will either have a threeway or he will and she will spy and get pissed. as far as Sabrina is concerned she stuck by and helped her friend to get back Together after her first Time. By the time she is with him it has been 2,3 years . She does'nt owe anything and Billy got his young thing.
Not Bad but....
I don't know why the third chapter was necessary, it was basically just a re-hash of chapter 2.
You never dealt with her disrespect
You can't do that is just not funny, it is evil.
Good Damned Story
5***** I'm stingy with my 5's...but this was good. I didn't like all of it...in a way just like I do not like all of me...but it is YOUR story and fiction. That said, damned good!!!
I like happier endings...having been widowed in my very good second marriage which ended in 4 years of cancer pain for her. And me.
In my opinion, you are skillful and will have read all your stuff in due time. Thanks.
Click here to leave your own comment on this submission! or
Back to You Can't Do That! Ch. 03 or
More submissions by qhml1.