I'm not an Evil Man

HAHAHAH, "sprung a fucking leak"

No he wasn't evil, he was fucking smart. This is a "5" for me.

you be a big dog dog! very funny flash story.

Well MarvinS you did a fair job at editing.

Only a few spelling mistakes. Also, a man who loses his wife is a Widower NOT a Widow. Unfortunately you failed to turn this turd of a story into something worth reading. But then again as the man said - that's Huedogg's style.

That is the great thing about being a writer

You can make the story anything you want.

Wife cheats. Why? Cause she's evil!

Her husband has her dead to rights with a shotgun, of COURSE she's going for HER gun...on the side table...in a purse...cause she's EVIL and STUPID! Can't be because she doesn't want to be killed by this guy. Nope. That would involve having a dot of empathy to a person who didn't want to be shot. See...she had maiming coming. HIS feelings were hurt so he NATURALLY gets to shoot her cooter off. See, those Sissy Sumerians insisted on an EYE for an EYE. Here it's balls and cooter because he's sad.

Why would his boss' ex wife greet him with open arms? Couldn't she hear her babies crying about missing their dad...you know...the one this 'not evil man' shot? Nope. HE's NOT EVIL...so that makes his maiming people OKAY. And yummy.

Why does the wife try to destroy the husband shot her? She's EVIL!

I'm surprised it took a page. At least you spared us him writing the Great American Novel, inventing Bleen, and winning the lottery as he saved the President.

It is a black and white tale because it's written that way, not because the world is that way. There is the world you want and the world that is. Don't mistake the two.

Sorry but...

I think the editor needs an editor. There were words missing, places where the wrong word was used, misspelled words, and other places where the tense went from past to present and back again.

As for the story itself; well, like he said, that's Huedogg

True Hue's story

Cruel Revenge story, 5*****.

Good Story

Honest Brutal and to lthe point

It's**

A read.

Burn this batch

"Even my old high school coach was there." Really? This brings "over the top" to a whole new level. This is more caricature than story.

Yup, I missed a few.

Yup, I missed a few corrections. I read through the story several times and each time missed the "is" that should have been "if" and the "he" that should have been "them." Thank you for providing those (and other) examples. I will strive to do better if anyone asks me to proofread a story again. I did not, however, find any misspelled words in my edited version.

Mr. Huedogg, I am sorry I let you down after bragging that I would eliminate all grammar, spelling, usage, and punctuation errors.

MarvinS

An 'isle,' is a small island... aisle, is what you're look for.

Excellent

I like that the cheaters died trying to fuck after reproductive surgery. I hope they were in pain. Extreme pain. Good job Hue.

Yippeeeee!

Finally a story that does not twist your guts!

Good story

Short but good. I sort of felt like dèja vu, as if I've read this story before. Anyways I liked the story. Didn't care for the wife dying, the way I see it death is too easy for cheaters; it's better that they live to see you everyday enjoying life. That would make them suffer more. So I have to ask-- huedog what happened to the story you was working on "fuck the tie"? You're still one part short.

Another fine, 5* job.

This is why Huedogg2 is one of my favourite authors. That reminds me. Got to go and re-read some of his other stories!

Please, Hue...

Let Marvin clean up the grammar!!!

It's really not going to change the story one bit if you use words like "led" instead of "lead" - the only time that LEAD sounds like LED is when you're talking about a heavy metal. It also isn't going to hurt one bit to have someone who can make sure you're using the proper version of "they're, there, their" - because "they're" is a shortened version of "they are", while "there" is a place or other means of specifying something (it's over there) and "their" is the possessive "it's their car". It's a lot like the whole two/too/to problem we see so often around here, when you think about it.

A good editor isn't going to change the flow of the story, but will work with you to make sure that the words you use don't actually take away from the experience of reading what you're trying to convey to your audience.

I've said it before, and I'll say it again: a huge part of any work of fiction is getting the reader to suspend their disbelief and actually enter the story world you've created. If the reader can't do so, then they're not going to empathize with your characters, and they certainly won't be enjoying the story as much as they could have. Poor grammar has the effect of throwing a bucket of cold water on the reader - they're jarred from wherever they were in the process of reading the story, and once they leave that world, it's damned hard to get them back to where they were before. That's why proofreading, grammar correction and careful editing are so important - they get rid of the distractions which can keep someone from diving into the story.

Outstanding - love it when the cheater"s DNA is eliminated from the gene pool

Always like a great BTB story from this author - we appreciate it.

Great job

Loved It the first time. Still do

OK I'll Be the "Grammar Police"

Read the first sentence in this story. "What would you do if you came home to scene I just witnessed." Read that sentence to yourself. Leaving out a simple "the" is a distraction, an unnecessary one and a simple one for an editor to catch. Yet, there it is. There are a half dozen of these in this story. If a reader is distracted by these "little" errors, so much so that they foul up enjoying the story, does that make him a grammar nazi? Heil Hue.

I personally think Marvin did a great job

So he missed one or two words. Their had to have been at least 50 or more changes that where needed and changed. In making the changes needed, Marvin didn't change the feel of what I was putting across. Their aren't many word that convey how fucked up something is with out changing the word itself. While I think there are more out of work 3rd grade teachers on this website. I thank the few that have tried to help my stories. Marvin, SS06 and his team, and Scailia even tried one. FD45 even though we disagree on everything, he did a hell of job. The one that has helped on the most doesn't want his name used but thanks away. Thanks to everyone who likes them and even thank you to all the bleed heart WACC also.

Congratulations, Huedogg!

You're growing as a writer.

Good story but put it aside and read it later to see your mistakes

I favor the BTB style, but the mistakes are very distracting. I don't want to be part of your so called "grammar mafia", but the story was LOADED with mistakes. Not a few but many. "Just sayin", so please don't take it personally. Some examples:
"came home to (the) scene"
"is (if?) robbery was wrong"
"but only we (when?) you get caught"
"7-11 convience (convenience) store"
"didn't want to disturb the (them?) earlier than need be"
"believe me (when I?) say it isn't pretty"
"I aimed the barrel (at?) Larry's balls"
etc., etc.
Hope this helps...

I don't understand this "Grammar Police" thing....

This is a site where writers post their work for others to read and occasionally offer their comments, positive or otherwise. I realize that Huedogg is an amateur writer, but this and all of his other stories are absolutely riddled with simple spelling and grammar mistakes to the point where they are difficult to read. I understand that nobody is being paid here, but what if you went to a free concert in the park, and not only did the musicians not bother to tune their instruments, but called anyone who made a comment about it the "Tuning Police?" What ever happened to taking pride in one's work? The story was okay, I guess, but I don't understand why Hue can't just put in the extra effort to improve the mechanics of his writing. Doesn't he want to get better as a writer?

beautyfish, just one question for ya?

While I'm not a fan of the grammar police. I will let you in on my feeling's about the subject. I could care less about people correcting my mistakes. I welcome it at times. But how can you put things in to the proper context without know how I meant them?

example: I can't belive that bityoch got away with that crap, im gonna fix that hoe!

Editor's example. I can't believe that "bitch" got away with that crap. I'm going to get that whore!.

I could have written that myself, if that's what I wanted to say. I understand what you or the grammar police are saying, lickdeesplit, a few other and have dicussed this very thing. So, it nothing new to me.

This is the second Huedogg story I enjoyed

The other was "Second Chances." I didn't necessarily hate the other ones; I just didn't care for them very much for one reason or another.
Both were somewhat wacky and extreme revenge stories with some original takes and black humor.
That said, this did need editing help. I'm not a Grammar Nazi (Lord knows I had enough f-ups in my stories), but it does get distracting at a certain point. Just applying a grammar and spell check can help. Getting a volunteer editor is an even better idea. It's one thing to have some colloquial expressions and slang ("hoe" or "ho" instead of "whore" is okay, etc.), or to have bad grammar in dialogue-for the purpose of having your characters speaking that way. But, it is usually best if your narrator's voice is more or less using proper grammar (and spelling).
Anyway, I thought this story was a hot mess of a revenge tale-completely unrealistic, twisted and cruel. But, I still dug it, and I don't really even know why.

That's what I mean.....

Huedogg -

You are proving my point. You just responded to my comment with a pile of basic English mistakes. I understand the part about using slang or colloquialisms when they are needed, like "biotch" and the like. I get it. On the other hand, some things are just bad writing, such as these, taken from your comment: "I will let you in on my feeling's about the subject." (you don't use a comma for a plural). "But how can you put things in to the proper context without know how I meant them?" (You mean "into," not "in to", and you meant "knowing," not "know"). "a few other and have dicussed this very thing. So, it nothing new to me." (I think you meant "a few others and I have discussed this very thing, so it's nothing new to me.") Don't you read stuff after you write it? Don't you feel like you owe it to the people who put the time into reading your stuff to put some care into proofreading it? For someone who posts a lot of stories on this site, I just feel like you have a very hostile attitude toward anyone who suggests that you should take the time to edit out the 6th grade mistakes. Sometimes the ideas and stories are pretty good, but with this amount of junk to wade through, it really is much harder to read. Really.

A good story

I enjoyed reading it and I'm sure many others will as well. Certainly worth 5 stars.

Wonderful Snapshot of deserved revenge

Always looking for your stories in this favorite section. You never disappoint

Five Stars

Cause I think you need something positive in your life.

Character in story may not be evil, he reacted to situation.

Worry about author. May be on road to evil with these thoughts you are putting on paper. If you are a perfect person, don't worry about this. The rest of us, at some point in our lives, need mercy and compassion.

Rushed

2Stars. At the end the was rushed. And some things were not believable. Those are the reasons I gave it a low rating.

Cemetery workers

@ Hue I think your character thought of the cemetery workers. So does my character...........

Editing

I agree with some of the other commenters here. The editor missed a bunch. I wonder just how bad the story (grammar, etc. not plot) was before MarvinS "fixed" it.

Decision made!

You're my favorite BTB writer

A very tightly written story

Fast moving and to the point with no extra wordage added.

Thanks for the read.

crisp expressive concise and extremely potent

Huedogg2 you are a genius and a magnificent writer both entertaining and wickidly tight movement. This story gets blistered by in record time with 3D description and truckloads of deep emotions. I was extremely grateful for the tongue in cheek and crafty character construction. Totally enjoyable and entertaining as well as deep.

Good one!

And another cheating slut bites the dust. I always seem to laugh at your stories. And for the Grammar Mafia - I only object if the words used lead to not being able to understand the intent of the author. Or if the sentence structure makes you stop reading and go "Huh"?

Wow preschool...

Third grade is far to advanced for this mental midget! Preschool, that is where the system failed this boy!!! Stop writing this drivel it is shamefull!

cool little tale

The next shot parted her scalp haha

This was edited?! FFS there were so many errors it wasn't funny!

Excellent

The cheating assholes got what they deserved. DEATH. Oh yeah.
I guess I have some evil in me.

HA HA

Missed more than a few - who cares

Let the Mafia get over it -

The story moved well - it does challenge credulity to believe she would be stupid enough to risk death to fuck the ass hay\t again once she found out he was penniless - and dickless - but whatever - it gave a route to her going away for good -

Excellent story with great potential as a movie.

Although, I have issues with your grammar spelling etcetera, I am amazed at your creative genius in compacting deep emotion in very short stories. They s story was no exception. You're obviously very gifted and you need to continue writing for a number of reasons. Primarily, my rational is somewhat parochial, since I reap the rewards of your talents by reading your stories. However, like so many things in life, repetition can facilitate in honing one's skills. I have been critical of your writing because of your ineffectiveness in the mechanical aspects of writing. In going over the same story I was critical, I realized it had some amazing content and perspective. Also, I haven't brought anything to the table myself yet, in terms of story writing. Of course, I know I'm very capable, I just haven't exercised my motivational factors to get it together. To summarize, I thank you for your stories and I wish to encourage you to continue and thank you for your effort.

You the Man !

It's good to know that their are still men who've not lost their balls .
I'm sick of stories where the man ends up a cuckold ( sometimes even a willing one ). Anyone that cheats and betrays his or her marriage vows should pay

Crazy

Shotguns under the bed, pistols in handbags, lunatics!

I am just saying

I like this story a lot But didn't he said, he had a pistol grip shotgun? So how can he hit the guy with the stock of it. Just asking.

to Awakeningofsenses:

Check the Mossberg 500 6-Shots. Probably that's what he was referring to

To: Awakening

Are you an idiot? Guns can have pistol grips and stocks. A mossberg comes with a stock. You can put a pistol grip on it to make it easy to hold. Try googling before making idiotic statements.

Good story.

The only idiotic thing in it, gun wise, was when the wife brought a .380 to a shotgun fight. Read a story once where an old time hit man supposedly said that if someone shot him with a .380 and he found out about it, it would really make him mad. Thanks for sharing.

Great story!

Don't get the grammar gripes though. I had zero problems understanding what was written. I suspect the grammar police are simply lacking the intelligence required to easily correct the errors they read on the fly. Don't let it bother you HD; we're not all stupid.

Short of an improbable little tale.