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English
A well written, but awful story
So, he steals a man's wife and the husband is being charged with her murder? That is awful. He is evil and should be punished for what he's done. I've read other stories of yours: you have a problem and I think you need psychiatric help.
I agree with the first guy...
Could definitely use a better ending. Maybe one where she's freed/reunited with her family, but due to some kind of Stockholm Syndrome, decides to stay with her captor.
So
She's blatantly faking it, so obviously that even HE has to see it, he rewards her for faking it, her husband's probably going to jail for her murder, this asshole will no doubt kidnap and rape her daughter on the slightest excuse and all of the sudden she "sees a different side of him" and "hope"?
That's not Stockholm, that's just fucking stupid. If you want to write a bleak ending then do it - this is non-con and there's no shortage of them. Plenty of times evil fuckers like this get away with what they've done and worse. There's no reason to add an idiotic ending like this to justify what the sadistic ass is doing when it's clearly completely unjustifiable. 3 stars for the ridiculous ending to what should have been a five star chapter and story.
Extended Story
I thought your story was intensely erotic. Some of your critics seem to have forgotten the genre. The male character in a Non-consent story is usually going to be brutal and unpleasant. I did think the ending was somewhat abrupt. The story is about the gradual breakdown of Beverly's will,her psychological surrender to the new life imposed on her. An installment set a year or two in the future would better illustrate how that process played out.
Good job
This was a great story, but it feels like there should be more. I want it to end somehow with her husband and daughter safe and having moved on, maybe she escapes... I don't know, this just doesn't feel complete to me.
Good Stuff
Nothing better then being off the grid, with a hot fuck toy!
Tutor ch 3
Great but when does he get the daughter?
where is the conclusion
If that was the end of the story, it was totally lacking. End of a chapter, not the end of the story. Absolutely no character resolution or ending to the plot.
Reader is not left with any sense of what happens. Perhaps you are writing too many stories before you actually finish one.
Writing is good
very cool story
Very cool story I would love to read more of this story .
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