not bad, not bad at all
the story was pretty good. the smoking was new to me, but i didn't mind that much and it's your story. so if you like smoking, you can let your characters smoke a bit.
though there was the occasional error i spotted, might i suggest letting an editor read it through? or read it again yourself a few days after completing it.
Overall pretty good, i'm interested in what will follow
by
Anonymous04/09/13
proof read your work
The story isn't bad but the typos are frequent and glaring. The smoking is a detraction from the story and there should be an explanation by Claire how she could have such a great marriage when she is a tranny.
by
Anonymous07/16/13
Love it...
As a T girl who loves women and femminity, I still hoppe someday I will found a woman like that of your story.
English
Yummy.
I hope she returns the favor with her strap-on.
Could be...
A nice story, if you left out all the smoking in every other sentence? (I'm a smoker as well, but not when with a guy in bed)
good story
not bad, not bad at all
the story was pretty good. the smoking was new to me, but i didn't mind that much and it's your story. so if you like smoking, you can let your characters smoke a bit.
though there was the occasional error i spotted, might i suggest letting an editor read it through? or read it again yourself a few days after completing it.
Overall pretty good, i'm interested in what will follow
proof read your work
The story isn't bad but the typos are frequent and glaring. The smoking is a detraction from the story and there should be an explanation by Claire how she could have such a great marriage when she is a tranny.
Love it...
As a T girl who loves women and femminity, I still hoppe someday I will found a woman like that of your story.
good story
to menny cigarette that was about 5 and just 4 cumes
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