All Comments on 'Lacie Ch. 16'

I am glad he came for her, but I want to know what will happen to clarissa? Also, how does Lacie have a voice after all that screaming? I love the short chapters because they come so regularly. Please, please, please, after her sacrifice, make Lacey special to her master. Make her his true love. It is the only thibg that would redeem this for the romance category.

Writing about master and girls efforts to save Lacey would have added depth and drama. You write lots of details about clothes, food, and decor; so use some of that detail for action and background about your slave world and it makes things more interesting.

Gof forbid master exerts himself

YAY!!!!! I'm glad master found her before that evil woman could kill lacie!

First, I want to say, I don't feel like I need to justify my writing. However, in this case, some explanation might be warranted. As to the "fast" rescue comment, I doubt you'd feel like the rescue was 'fast' if you were tortured every day for nearly a month. This story is told exclusively from Lacie's point of view. Intentionally, I left out parts that might help explain the surrounding stories. Why Master wasn't able to go inside with Lacie. What he was doing while she was in the white room. These aren't things that Lacie would know, so I didn't add them. Secondly, the fact that Master was exerting himself, and why it seemed 'wrong' to Lacie was because at that point, she believed him to be a hallucination, akin to all of her other ones. She was clinging to him as her vision of happiness. You don't imagine the perfect person to be covered in sweat, breathing hard and terrified. It was a clue to her that something was off. It was a nagging sensation that something had changed, leading her to open her eyes. So, while it may seem like I wrote the story this way on a whim, I can assure you, I did not. This chapter took a very long time to write. Several weeks in fact. I've submitted almost the whole story, but Lit only adds one chapter a day, so while it may seem like i'm writing insanely fast, it's only due to Lit postings. Dancingwizard