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English
quick
A short story that was quick and sweet. Kudos for wrapping the story into a brief sexual experience.
In a ...
... hurry, were you?
pretty good
it was pretty good but it could have been a little longer.
WHAT THE FUCK
does this even meet the minimum amount of words required on this site? are you going to the races this was so rushed it wasn't funny it needs to be about three times longer to get to the same place. wheres the detail? wheres the tension? wheres the plot and story? i hope it was a real good date you were going on that made you post this piece of crap as a story because we got screwed.
HAVE TO AGREE WE WERE SCREWED
way to rushed and like an idiot you changed the title. since this is a continuation of another story you SHOULD have had enough brains to give it the SAME TITLE. on sites like this ALL chapters of a series HAVE to have the same title you just use numbers or the subtitle to tell what order to read them in. if you do it right the readers don't have to go searching for the beginning of the story making them pissed at you and making them refuse to read anymore of your trash. delete all stories and repost them with PROPER TITLES.
Good up to a point
This is another unfinished story. It leaves the reader wondering what ultimately happened.
Well...
This is the third story of yours I've read. At least this one had actual penetration. Still not enough "beef". Still only a 2-star effort. Your writing style isn't at fault, it is the lack of detail and story development that just kills these.
oh more please
where are they going from here? they only just got back in bed. what happens next?
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