All Comments on 'Gangbang that MILF'

by aking2

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  • 17 Comments
AnonymousAnonymousalmost 11 years ago
Not very good

Poorly written and not very realistic.

thebuffalothebuffaloalmost 11 years ago

My mama told me that if I couldn't say something nice to keep my mouth shut.

I don't have a thing to say.

aking2aking2almost 11 years agoAuthor

I'm sorry if it's poorly written.

Could you give me hints of how to do better?

Or it's just all crap?

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 11 years ago
I couldn't get past the second paragraph.

I presume English is not your native language, but that is NOT an excuse. If you choose to write in English, learn the language. This was unreadable.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 11 years ago
Totally

illiterate. But you don't even know what the word means, do you?

cheryl_4funcheryl_4funalmost 11 years ago
needs help

the story theme is ok but the grammar is very weak still i kinda liked it, even though i am not a big fan of beig forced this one was a turn for me and had me wanting cock before it ended i guess it is my slut instinct i get sometime

usually from wanting black cock

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 11 years ago
Editor issue

(Different Anon) If English is not your first language, you would need someone proficient in both languages. If not, just post for an editor. A lot of the folks on this site are retired and are willing to edit for you in return for acknowlegement.

The issues that jumped out at me were: 1) verb-noun agreement and 2) too simple dialog. I am from the south where family trees don't always branch and a college degree is not mandatory, but even in my youth we didn't speak quite so simply.

aking2aking2almost 11 years agoAuthor
thanks

I never submitted anything that I have wrote, but I usually get understood. That means that I still have lot more to learning, thank you for noticing me this.

I think I'll try to read and learn again rules about verb/nouns and try to have a more complex dialog.

First anon, don't worry, maybe I won't submit anything again to public.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 11 years ago
Dude you need help.

Not only was this bad, but it promotes rape. It is offensive and I hope this isn't something that actually happened.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 11 years ago
Unreadable

Unreadable in so many ways.

The "writing", the subject matter and possibly the fact that the "author" should be somewhere under lock and key!

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 11 years ago

i liked it. it was hard to read in some spots but all and all it was good

mark919mark919almost 11 years ago
Interesting!

Rough & ready in a Jim Thompson sort of way. Those that don't like it....don't read it!

mark919mark919over 10 years ago
Re-read it!

I read your story again and found it even more arousing the second time.

AnonymousAnonymousover 10 years ago
Illiterate

shite

AnonymousAnonymousover 9 years ago
Take some Classes

Really poor grammar and hopefully not written by someone who speaks English. Please take some lessons in speaking and writing before putting this kind of crap out to waste a reader's time. Then have someone who speaks English read it and evaluate it before putting it out here for us to read.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 4 years ago

Hope you guys knocked her up with kid inside her

AnonymousAnonymousover 1 year ago

This story needed proof reading! I would be ashamed to put something out with half as many typos.

Literary chipmunk

Anonymous
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